10 Signs Of A Clingy Boyfriend And How To Deal With Him

Nothing can beat the joy and pleasure that comes with a beautiful relationship.

Everyone loves to spend time with their partners. But what is difficult is being with a clingy boyfriend. How can you know if your boyfriend is clingy? How can you deal with him? Even though he pays a lot of attention to you, if you feel that the relationship is suffocating you or you are feeling uncomfortable with his behavior, it may be a sign of his clinginess. Being clingy is different from being emotionally attached. A clingy boyfriend always prioritizes his feelings over his partner and will not give any personal space. At some point, you may even feel irritated and low, which may only take a toll on your mental health. This article lists the 10 signs that tell you if your boyfriend is clingy and discusses how you can handle him. Continue reading.

What Is A Clingy Boyfriend?

If you are confused about what exactly clingy means in a relationship, it is a term often used to describe someone who does not have clear boundaries and tends to get over-attached emotionally or even physically. If your boyfriend is overly possessive, jealous (even of your non-romantic relationships), and irrationally insecure about your whereabouts, he is clingy. He may love you tremendously, but it is unhealthy to not give each other space to grow or be yourselves.

A clingy boyfriend may become demanding and selfish, which can be exhausting for you in the long run. He may not want to make plans with other people and want to keep you for himself. There can be many reasons for such behavior, but it mainly stems from insecurity and a fear of abandonment. He probably has severe anxiety that you will leave him or the relationship will end.

Clinginess can sometimes be triggered due to deep psychological reasons. Before we get into what are the signs of a clingy boyfriend, here is a deeper exploration of where such behavior comes from.

Reasons Your Boyfriend Is Clingy: Psychological Aspects

Clinginess in a relationship often stems from deeper psychological factors. They include:

Reasons Your Boyfriend Is Clingy

• Lack Of Independence: Clinginess may arise from dependence on the partner for emotional fulfillment without fostering one’s own individual growth.
• Communication Gaps: Inadequate communication can lead to the need for constant reassurance.
• Misinterpretation Of Love: Some may associate constant closeness with love without realizing the importance of personal space.
• Past Relationship Issues: Lingering insecurities from previous relationships can influence clinginess in behavior.
• Fear Of Rejection: A deep-seated fear of rejection or abandonment may drive the desire for constant proximity. People who have experienced emotional neglect in past relationships may develop a sensitivity to the possibility of being left behind.
• Unmet Emotional Needs: If emotional needs are not met, one might try too hard to fill the void and appear clingy. Clinginess can also indicate emotional co-dependency. A clingy boyfriend may feel that his identity or happiness depends solely on the relationship, making it difficult for him to cope with time spent apart.
• Insecurity And Low Self-Esteem: A boyfriend who struggles with feelings of inadequacy may feel unworthy of his partner’s affection. This may lead him to overcompensate by seeking constant validation. This insecurity can drive him to become overly dependent on emotional support.
• Anxious Attachment Style: A boyfriend’s clinginess may hint at an anxious attachment style. It is characterized by a strong need for closeness and fear of rejection. People with this attachment style often struggle to feel secure in their relationships.
• Anxiety And Control Issues: In some cases, clinginess can be a manifestation of underlying anxiety or control issues. A boyfriend who feels out of control in his own life may attempt to regain a sense of stability by becoming overly involved in his partner’s life.

While these behaviors may be rooted in past experiences, they can be addressed through communication and healthy boundaries. Understanding the underlying causes can help both partners create a more balanced relationship. Now let us go over what the signs of a clingy boyfriend are.

10 Signs Your Boyfriend Is Clingy

1. He Wants To Know Your Whereabouts All The Time

If your boyfriend is constantly bombarding you with text messages throughout the day, it is not a good sign. While it is normal and even affectionate to touch base once in a while and keep the communication going, texting too often can be intrusive and exhausting. He may also tend to get anxious if you do not text back immediately. He may even be controlling as he feels that he will lose you to someone else. However, in a healthy relationship, it is important to have trust and loyalty.

A clingy boyfriend will want to know everything about your whereabouts – who you are with? What are you doing? Where are you? He wants to keep tabs on your schedule and gets upset if you don’t share it with him.

2. He Needs Constant Validation

A clingy boyfriend seeks constant reassurance. He may appear to be a bottomless pit of need, and make you feel like it is your job to constantly fill it. He is insecure or unsure of the relationship. He often doubts if you love him. He may ask you questions like – Do you love me? How much do you love me? What can you do for me?

He may even make over-the-top romantic gestures and want you to reciprocate with the same enthusiasm. Sometimes, he may even get competitive in showing you affection and love. Also, he will get upset or anxious if you do not validate his feelings. He will be dependent on you for affection and demand attention all the time and may even guilt-trip you if you don’t cater to his unrealistic expectations.

While it is great to be affectionate to your partner and showing them admiration and adoration, it may come off as superficial and ingenuine if it becomes the norm.

3. He Does Not Like You To Socialize Without Him

This is a big red flag. If your boyfriend has temper tantrums or acts needy when you hang out with your friends, he is insecure and clingy. You both deserve to have lives outside the relationship. In fact, it is considered healthy to have friends, hobbies, and interests that do not overlap. It helps you develop your self-identity and grow as a person and strengthens dedication and faithfulness in your commitment.

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He may also be overprotective of you hanging out with your friends and try to invite himself to the gatherings or just tag along with you. Even if you do manage to go without him, he will constantly call or text to know how you are doing.

He may even get jealous if you are hanging out with guys. All this boils down to insecurity and lack of trust. Either way, this behavior is not acceptable in a healthy relationship.

Quick Tip

Clingy boyfriends may anticipate you asking for their approval before you go out. As a reason for their intrusive behavior, they may claim they needed your schedule to plan something with you in the future.

4. He Is Not Assertive

He may not hold strong opinions. He gets swayed easily, especially if it involves you. Since he is insecure, he gives in to your requests and is not confident enough to be assertive. This is stifling for the relationship. He may be scared to say what he truly feels as he assumes you will leave him if he disagrees. He would rather keep his opinions to himself than create any conflict.

A healthy relationship entails feisty discussions and arguments without name-calling or insulting. Disagreements and an ability to resolve conflicts help in creating a stronger bond between two people.

5. He Is Incredibly Jealous

A little jealousy is normal in most relationships. But, a clingy boyfriend may be overly jealous and possessive – so much so that you are constantly fighting.

He may have irrational fears or extreme insecurity when it comes to your interactions with the opposite sex. He may get angry and moody when you talk or spend time with other guys.

He will be distrustful of everyone who is close to you and may even try to sabotage your relationships.

6. He Does Not Socialize Without You

He does not have friends with whom he can hang out. Even if he does, he prefers to spend time with you instead. If he cancels his plans with his friends to be with you or insists that you should also join them, it is a big warning sign of his clinginess. His whole world revolves around you. Since he does not have a support system, his anxiety may be triggered when you have any conflict with him.

7. He Does Not Have Hobbies

If your boyfriend does not have any hobbies or interests, or if he stopped spending time by himself after he met you, it is another sign that he is clingy. It can also get dangerous as he may get obsessed with you. This will definitely change the dynamics of the relationship and aspects of his personality. Since he is not spending time doing anything else, he could be constantly thinking about you and what you are doing, leading to unlikely scenarios in his head.

8. He Does Not Give You Space

He never leaves you alone, so much so that you find his presence smothering. You put up with it because you feel his heart is in the right place and he means no harm, and in the beginning, all this attention and devotion may feel good. However, we all need space to recharge, and it is particularly important in a healthy relationship to have individual lives.

You may have tried telling him that you need a break, but he probably got offended or hurt by that suggestion. He feels that you should be spending more time with him instead of your friends or family.

9. He Stalks You Online

We all are guilty of checking up on our partners on social media. It can easily become an obsession to constantly check if they are online or when they were ‘last seen’. Other red flags include him asking about everyone who is tagged in your pictures or guys you follow. He may even ask you about people who liked your pictures or commented on your posts as he may see them as potential threats. He may even be keeping tabs on these people or your ex-boyfriends by checking their profiles or stories. This is particularly alarming if he is always online but hardly active on his own profile.

10. He Does Not Respect Your Boundaries

You notice that he does not respect your decisions and questions your fidelity. He often encroaches on your personal space. He may want to do everything together – simple things like taking a shower or shaving.

He asks you about your day and gets upset if you did something without him. He may get pouty and sulk until you give in or do something he likes to do with you. He does not understand your need for space and takes it as you wanting to be away from him.

11. He Frequently Brings Up Past Relationships

If your boyfriend constantly compares your relationship to his past ones or gets jealous of your exes, it may indicate his insecurities and clinginess. He may need constant validation that he is better than your ex-boyfriend. This behavior calls for a need for reassurance and illustrates a lack of trust in your commitment to him.

Christine, a physician by profession, details her experience of being in a clingy relationship. She mentions different cues that gave her the gut feeling that something wasn’t right. She recollects how he wanted to visit her when she was away on a secluded trip with her friends. That was her breaking point, and she blocked him. He kept deleting and following her back on social media and constantly sent her messages. She adds, “I even read my mom some of the messages and she asked for his first and last name so if I go missing she knows what to tell the police: it looks that insane (i).”

Clinginess can affect the relationship in many ways. Read on to learn more about it.

How Does Clinginess Affect Relationships?

Clinginess can have a huge impact on relationships. It may lead to tension, frustration, and emotional burnout. When one partner exhibits clingy behavior, the other partner feels suffocated. Over time, this may result in a loss of personal space and independence for the other partner. It can also lead to trust issues and growing hostility. Without addressing these issues, clinginess can make the relationship feel one-sided. This may eventually create a deep rift in the relationship.

So, if your boyfriend exhibits any of the signs discussed above consistently, he is most definitely a clingy boyfriend. The good news is that you can set some boundaries for a healthy relationship. Check out the next section to find out more.

How To Handle A Clingy Boyfriend

1. Be Honest With Yourself

The first and foremost thing to do is to analyze how you behave in the relationship. Are you enabling him? Were you also clingy in the beginning? Did the relationship lose the initial spark? Are you looking for something else, or have you lost interest in him? Either way, a little introspection is good. It is not healthy for anyone to be clingy in a relationship.

2. Set Boundaries

This is the most important and effective step you can take to manage your relationship if your boyfriend is clingy. It would be great to set boundaries early on in the relationship so it is easy to implement them. However, it is never too late to set boundaries about what kind of relationship you want and what behavior is off-limits. Simply establish a few ground rules regarding when to call and give each other space. Let him know that you need space to rejuvenate yourself and it has nothing to do with him. You can also try a roll reversal and be the clingy girlfriend. Once he has gotten a taste of his own medicine, you can ask him how he would like to help you out.

3. Establish Trust

This is more to do with him, but you can help him learn to trust you by not hiding things from him. Be honest and transparent. Let him know that you find his behavior controlling and smothering. Soothe his anxieties and discuss getting professional help, if needed. Clinginess can be a manifestation of underlying issues such as fear of abandonment or having an anxious attachment style. So, therapy may help in dispelling some of the fears and anxieties. Go for couples’ sessions if necessary.

4. Let Him Know He Is Important To You

Shower him with praises and appreciate the things he does for you. Let him know that he is important to you and you love him. Spend quality time with him, go on dates, show him your caring side, and do not neglect him. Introduce him to your friends and family, but negotiate how much time you spend with him. Let him know that he cannot be replaced and that he holds a special place in your heart.

5. Cut Down On Communication

Make sure that you do not communicate excessively with each other. Be firm with him – let him know that you will not take calls when you are at work or with someone unless it’s urgent. Ask him not to text you often as it is distracting. Do it in a gentle manner and tell him you will check up on him when you are free.

Wean him off constant texting by taking time to respond or not replying to every text. Slowly, he will pick up the cues and model his behavior accordingly.

You can also have a “pause” day when you take a break from each other. Let him know you are safe but will not be available on call or social media. This will help in curtailing phone time or the need to constantly be in touch.

Quick Tip

If you live together, try being in separate rooms for extended periods. Set physical boundaries and let your partner know it is not the time to communicate by placing a ‘do not disturb’ sign outside your room.

6. Encourage Him To Socialize Without You

If he is the needy one in the relationship, help him. You can plan a guys’ night out for him with his friends or enlist him in a class related to his interests and hobbies. Encourage him to go out with his friends every week. Let him know that you trust him and want him to be happy. You can ask his friends to help get him out of his comfort zone.

7. Foster Independence In Him

Encouraging your clingy boyfriend to engage in activities without you and be more independent. These activities can be new hobbies, classes, or social events. This will allow him to build his self-esteem and self-worth outside of the relationship. This not only helps gain confidence but also allows you both to have a balanced relationship.

Infographic: The Importance Of Space In Relationships

It is wonderful to have someone to share all the big and small things in life with. A loving relationship could be the biggest blessing ever. However, it is important to not let the relationship consume you and make you lose your essence. Every relationship grows stronger when people maintain space to let themselves grow along with it.

Check out the infographic below to know how a healthy space impacts a relationship.

Illustration: StyleCraze Design Team

Frequently Asked Questions

How can I help my clingy boyfriend without hurting his feelings?

Supporting a clingy boyfriend involves clear communication and encouragement. It is essential to validate his feelings while also expressing your need for space.

Why is my boyfriend so clingy all of a sudden?

Insecurity and low-self esteem may lead to clinginess. If your boyfriend is suddenly clingy, speak to him and try to understand if he is being intimidated by something. Apart from that, look within yourself and find out if your behavior towards him has changed recently.

What causes clinginess in a relationship?

Self-doubt and insecurity may cause clinginess in a relationship. When a couple feels unsure about the relationship, they may begin to seek extra attention from each other to make sure where they are headed.

Do girls like clingy guys?

No, women dislike clingy guys. Clinginess indicates insecurity or obsession that can be unnerving for a woman.

Is there a difference between needy and clingy?

Yes, needy means depending solely on your partner to the extent that one can’t function without them and require constant reaffirmation of your love. While clingy people like to stay close to their partner, be it through touching or snuggling even if that makes their partner feel claustrophobic.

Illustration: Signs Of A Clingy Boyfriend And How To Deal With Him

Image: Stable Diffusion/StyleCraze Design Team

Is that clingy guy getting on your nerves? Worry not! Check out this video for some dating tips and advice that will help you handle him.

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Originally from Atlanta, Dr. Nancy Irwin graduated from UWG in 1977 with a Bachelor of Music in Opera Performance. She moved to New York City in 1985 to pursue a career as a stand-up comedian. She worked all over the country and abroad and moved to Los Angeles in 1994 when she heard that Hollywood needed more blondes.

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Sneha has a master's degree in Applied Linguistics from the University of Hyderabad, a professional Relationship Coach diploma, and over four years of experience in writing. She writes about relationships and lifestyle.Sneha began her career as an instructional designer, shifted to freelance technical and research writing, and self-published a novella on the theme of adolescent mental health.

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