How To Give A Hickey To Someone – 4 Simple Steps

Are you bored of gifting your partner expensive gifts? Why don’t you try and give them a special memento of love? Now that Valentine’s Day is around the corner, lovers worldwide are busy planning surprises for their special someone.

You can also make the day memorable for your sweetheart without burning a hole in your pocket. Do you want to know how? Well, we are talking about hickeys! Have you ever had questions like how do you get a hickey, how to give a hickey, or even what are hickeys? Well, we have your back in this article! From what hickeys are to how you can give one, we have covered it all. So, keep scrolling to learn more about them and give your partner a delightful time!

Fun Fact

In the animal kingdom, male mammals are frequently found to be nibbling at female mammals’ necks while they are mating.

What Is A Hickey?

A hickey, love bite, or kiss mark is essentially a bruise that is red. Aggressively sucking or biting on another person’s flesh usually creates hickeys. What does a hickey look like? Those who have engaged in romantic makeout sessions are probably aware of it. When the skin is sucked or pressed on, the blood vessels in that area break releasing blood into the surrounding tissue. These leaking blood vessels cause the initial distinct red color. The bruise gradually turns purple and then brown. Medically, this discoloration is known as ecchymosis (1). However, it is not as scary as it sounds! It fades if left alone, though it can take between two days to two weeks to completely disappear, depending on how deep the bruise is. One may use a mix of cold and warm compress and essential oil massages to ease the tension and stimulate blood flow in the area. But, as long as it does last, it is a sweet reminder of your partner.

Historically, the practice of giving a hickey is believed to have its roots in observing animal behavior in the wild. Animals such as lions, wolves, and donkeys are known to nibble, bite, or lick their partners as a way to show affection. English physician Havelock Ellis noted, in his 1913 book titled Studies in the Psychology of Sex Volume 3, that similar behaviors were first observed in mammals, possibly inspiring early humans. 

Over time, humans adapted these acts of physical affection, incorporating them into their own intimate relationships. Scroll down to the next section to learn more about why lovers give each other a hickey.

Why Do Lovers Give A Hickey?

Hickeys are usually a sign of desire, passion, and romance and a way of marking territory or a loved one. It may simply be a passionate reminder of one’s love for another. Remember that hickeys are sexual marks and people will often assume that you had an extra passionate time last night. It is always a smart idea to give your beloved a hickey on parts that are not very visible. It will help you avoid unwanted scrutiny in your love life. Hickeys aren’t bad but can attract unnecessary attention at college, work, or family gatherings. If you cannot explain it and it embarrasses you, ask your partner to leave it at a more intimate and inconspicuous spot.

While some wear their hickeys proudly, others consider them a private sign of intimacy. If you’re unsure how to go about giving a hickey to someone, keep reading. Find out how to give a hickey in the next section.

How To Give A Hickey: A Step-By-Step Guide

Now that you know what a hickey is and why people give each other one, you may want to know the all-important technique to give that memorable token of love. Follow these steps to know how to give a love bite:

1. Begin with some kissing and smooching to heighten the physical arousal before you explore that perfect spot for a hickey. Start with light kisses before graduating to more intense ones. If your partner enjoys the intimacy, she may be enthusiastic about getting a hickey.
2. Consent and comfort are of utmost importance. Before you start, make sure both you and your partner are okay with giving and receiving a hickey. Talk openly about your limits and preferences to make sure the experience is positive and respectful for both of you.

3. Choose the location well. As mentioned earlier, hickeys are meant to be intimate, not tacky symbols of affection for public display. Usually, neck areas are popular spots for giving a hickey, which is fine if your partner has long hair. You can also consider other spots like the crook of the elbow or the inner thigh.
4. To give your partner a hickey, make an O with your lips and press them firmly on your partner’s skin. Seal your love with your lips and leave no room for air.
5. Freely express your wild side by sucking hard enough to break capillaries. However, remember the tantalizing sensation of your lips should make your partner moan with pleasure and not pain. To give that perfect hickey, you need to keep sucking for 20-30 seconds.

Now you know how to give a hickey to your partner. While the act of marking a partner during intimate moments is likely ancient, the visibility of hickeys was historically avoided in many cultures due to modesty and societal norms. Honestly, they are still controversial in public even now-a-days. Scroll down to the next section to explore the social norms surrounding hickeys.

Social Etiquette And Norms About Hickeys

Hickeys are viewed differently depending on the conservativeness of people around you, the area you are in, and more. Generally, they are considered a symbol of passion or intimacy. In some cultures, they are a playful mark of romantic affection. However, some societies view them as inappropriate or embarrassing, as they visibly signal private moments. These cultures may associate hickeys with recklessness or immaturity.

Occasionally, they are also perceived as a sign of claiming one’s partner. This can be seen as playful or problematic, depending on the context and individuals involved. For instance, if the individuals involved are in a healthy, consensual relationship, a hickey can be viewed as a lighthearted way of showing affection or intimacy. However, if there is a lack of mutual agreement or boundaries are not respected, it could be seen as a symbol of possessiveness or control and may require intervention depending on the seriousness of the relationship.

 Here is what you can do in different situations when it comes to hickeys:

• It is best to hide hickeys in professional or work settings, as they may be seen as unprofessional.
• You may also want to avoid public displays of hickeys depending on the culture or local norms of the place you are residing in, as they may be viewed as too intimate or inappropriate.
• Hickeys may be less of an issue among close friends or in casual settings. However, it is a good idea to still consider other people’s comfort levels to avoid awkwardness.
• Talk to your partner beforehand so you know how they feel about hickeys. Some partners may not mind them, while others may feel uncomfortable with them.

However, if it leaves a dark mark and you want to get rid of the hickey, then try putting a spoon in the freezer for a few minutes and placing its curved side on the skin to soothe inflammation. Keep reading to know more.

Hiding And Healing Hickeys

• Wear clothing that covers the hickey like a turtleneck.
• Use makeup, like a skin tone foundation or concealer, to conceal the hickey temporarily.
• Apply a cold compress right after to reduce swelling and discoloration.
• Use vitamin K cream to help speed up healing.
• Avoid rubbing or scratching the area.
• Stay hydrated to support skin recovery.

Quick Tip

You can return to the same spot and repeat the process of giving a hickey if you and your partner want a darker bruise.

Now that you know what a hickey is and how to give the best hickey, take a look at some points to remember before you go wild.

Potential Risks And Consequences Of Hickeys

Now that you know what a hickey is and how to give the best hickey, take a look at some points to remember before you go wild.

Potential Risks

Hickeys can be enjoyable, but it is important to know the possible risks. Too much suction can cause bruising and even break tiny blood vessels under the skin. Make sure to talk openly with your partner and check in on their comfort level during the process to avoid these problems. Hickeys may also lead to some serious risks. These include:

May Cause Stroke

A case study, published in a Danish medical journal called Ugeskrift for Læger, involving a 35-year-old woman found that a hickey could result in a stroke in rare cases. The woman experienced sudden right-sided weakness due to a stroke caused by a clot in the left side of her brain, 12 hours after getting a love bite on the left side of her neck. Medical tests revealed that an artery on this side was nearly blocked due to a blood clot formed there. The doctors believe the love bite may have caused a small injury to the artery, leading to the formation of the clot, which then traveled to her brain, resulting in the stroke (2).

• May Cause Infections

Another case study involving a 26-year-old woman, published in the British Journal of Surgery, shared that hickeys may cause neck cellulitis. It is a bacterial infection that affects the deeper layers of the skin, leading to pain and inflammation. After a thorough investigation, she admitted to having a severe love bite from her new boyfriend. She was treated with oral antibiotics and tetanus shots (3). Also, remember, no teeth! You don’t want to begin as a passionate lover and end up looking like Dracula, do you? A case study involving a 38-year-old man, published in the British Journal of Surgery, discussed the same issue. He went to the doctor with a hard, movable lump near his collarbone. It had been there for about three months and had a small hole in the middle. The doctors first thought it was an epidermoid cyst, a harmless bump under the skin. After the lump was surgically removed, they were surprised to find a broken piece of plastic shaped like a tooth inside. The man recalled attending a Halloween party the year before, where a woman dressed as a vampire had bitten him while they were both drunk. During the bite, the plastic tooth must have broken off and got lodged in his skin, leading to the complications (3).

If 30 seconds of sucking seem weird, try some kissing and then another 10 seconds of sucking at the same spot.

Remember that saliva can be a dampener for your play of passion. Keep track of the amount of spit in your mouth. Leaving behind a sticky residue on your partner’s neck or inner thigh might ruin her mood and your hickey.

As you can see from the section above, giving a hickey is simple. But how do you give one with braces? Scroll down to the next section to know more.

How To Give A Hickey With Braces

Giving a hickey with braces is a bit tricky, but you can still make it more enjoyable for yourself and your partner by following the tips below:

1. Keep your braces clean and smooth as sharp edges can make the experience uncomfortable for both of you.
2. Now, make a round shape with your lips and gently suck on the skin.
3. Keep your teeth out of the business as the braces may scratch the skin, unless your partner likes it a bit rough.
4. Use your hands to caress your partner while giving a hickey to make it more passionate. Do it for 20-30 seconds to create your love mark.

Dylan, a YouTuber, discusses how to give someone a hickey on the neck easily, with the creator emphasizing, “You just suck on the skin and what happens, by doing this, is you create suction right…and this will actually cause bruising on the skin (i).”

Infographic: The Right Way To Give A Hickey

Nervous about giving your partner a hickey? Feels like everything you have read has not registered in your brain? Don’t worry; we can help! Check out the infographic below to learn how to give your partner a hickey and a few cautionary tips to keep in mind to make the experience even better.

Illustration: StyleCraze Design Team

Frequently Asked Questions

How long do hickeys last?

Depending on the intensity, hickeys may last 2 days to 2 weeks. However, it may vary from person to person.

Can hickeys be dangerous?

While hickeys are usually harmless, they can sometimes cause bruising or, in rare cases, lead to blood clots if too much pressure is applied. It is important to not apply too much suction and make sure your partner is comfortable throughout the process to avoid any issues.

Does giving a hickey involve biting?

A hickey is achieved by sucking or kissing one area of skin for a long time. While you can bite your partner to enhance their pleasure, it is not necessary when giving a hickey.

Is it childish to give hickeys?

Giving or receiving a hickey is a personal decision. While some consider it an act of intimacy, others might regard it as childish. It really depends on you and your partner.

Explore the art of gifting a hickey. Check out this step-by-step informative video to learn the techniques, dos and don’ts, and how to create an intimate and enjoyable experience for both!

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Reviewer Author Editor Fact Checker

Sarah KenvilleMA (Marriage and Family Therapy)

   

Sarah Kenville has a master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy and a law degree. She has 8 years of experience and offers premarital counseling and relationship coaching to dating, engaged, newlywed, and same-sex couples.

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Jyotsana RaoBeauty & Lifestyle Writer

 

Jyotsana Rao is an engineering graduate from NIT, Nagpur, who discovered her love for writing during her undergraduate days. She is passionate about writing about everything related to beauty - makeup, fashion, hairstyles, skin care, or hair care and has 4 years of experience on writing in these genres.

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