How To Be Happy With Yourself – 13 Brilliant Tips To Follow

Building a relationship with yourself is important, as it can make you feel happier and more fulfilled. But how to be happy with yourself? Some people love being surrounded by their loved ones, while others find peace when away from everyone. When you love yourself and enjoy your ‘me’ time, it will help you to build confidence levels. This article explores some proven ways to be happy alone and the difference between being ‘alone’ and ‘lonely’. Scroll down for more information.

Being Alone Vs. Being Lonely

You can be alone when no one else is near you or when you are walking through a crowd but unaccompanied. So, being alone means being by yourself. It is a physical reality. However, being lonely is a state of mind where you feel friendless or loveless. You can be around friends and family and yet feel disconnected and isolated.

While you can be happy alone and feel content spending time with yourself, loneliness makes you wish to connect with someone. It is a distressing emotional response to your circumstances. So, you can live a solitary life and not feel lonely, and also live a seemingly rich social life and yet feel lonely.

Ronald Hoang, a Sydney-based Relationship and Family Counselor, says, “It’s also important to know that life is not a permanent state of enthusiasm. Not everything that makes us happy is good for us and not everything good for us is what makes us happy. Happiness is an inside job, it’s a byproduct of wellbeing. If you’re looking to find happiness somewhere out there, you’re looking in the wrong place.”

Now that you have an idea of what it means to be alone and be lonely, let us explore a few ways through which you can learn to be happy alone.

The Importance Of Self-Love

Self-love is a profoundly psychological and philosophical construct that is nothing like narcissism and is the backbone of personal development and fruitful interpersonal relationships. “Love yourself” is truly more than just a catchphrase; it’s the foundation of a well-lived life. As the legendary RuPaul wisely says, “If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else?” It cuts to the heart of a profound truth. Self-love isn’t selfish-it’s fundamental. It is as important as oxygen itself. 

Anthropological perspectives state that individuals who can maintain a compassionate relationship with themselves present healthier states of mind, increased capability to manage emotions, and expanded capacity for meaningful interpersonal relationships. People with high levels of self-compassion show fewer levels of anxiety and depression. They’re better at coping when challenges come, more willing to take positive risks, and can genuinely connect with other people. 

Would you tell your best friend they are not good enough, smart enough, or worthy enough? Of course not! We would never say to a friend what we tell ourselves. Most of us have inner critics, so why do we save this type of judgment for ourselves? We’ve heard the phrase, “You are your own worst enemy,” which is why becoming your best friend, your greatest champion, becomes imperative. 

Self-love is an ongoing practice and self-discipline that unlocks profound capacities for personal growth and meaningful engagement with the world. The magic is in consistently and compassionately showing up for yourself. An old proverb states, “The longest relationship you’ll ever have is with yourself,” so make it a love story worth telling. Scroll down to check out some ways to love yourself wildly, unapologetically, and completely.

13 Practical Tips To Cultivate Happiness Within Yourself

Humans are social beings who love to stay connected and interact with each other. However, that doesn’t mean you can’t thrive and be happy by yourself if the need arises. Here are some ways to help you discover how to enjoy and be productive in your alone time:

1. Enjoy Your Own Company

To be able to enjoy your own company, go on a self-date. Do the things that you would do on a date with a partner. For instance, treat yourself to a solo movie and dinner date.

If it seems too much to begin with, start by visiting a café and sitting down alone with a cup of coffee. Enjoy your coffee while observing your surroundings. Get used to the feel of doing things alone.

2. Develop A Relationship With Yourself

Being alone gives you the time to develop a relationship with yourself. You get ample time to consider your needs, ambitions, and desires. Nurture all these things.

Start by not criticizing yourself when you do not live up to your expectations. Reflect on whether the things you seek in life are the ones that can bring you true happiness. Compliment yourself every day for little things like making a cup of tasty coffee or cleaning your house.

3. Be Self-Driven

Does your daily routine make you jump out of bed every morning with enthusiasm? What is it that can make you look forward to your day with excitement?

You need to make a list of the things that can stimulate you to grow and evolve. If you love playing a musical instrument, baking cakes, or riding a bike, incorporate them into your daily routine and make a fresh start. This way, you will feel refreshed doing something every day that you love to do. Also, you will be happier spending time with yourself as you learn to live alone.

Pro Tip

Happiness is often linked to a sense of purpose and meaningful relationships, rather than external achievements. Therefore, it is important to establish achievable short-term and long-term goals to help fulfill that purpose.

4. Keep Your Body And Mind Fit

Regular exercise offers many benefits for your mind and body. The chemicals that your body releases during exercise can enhance your mood and make you feel less stressed and more relaxed. At the same time, you feel more energized to go about your daily life. Ensure that working out does not feel like a chore to you. Figure out a routine that includes jogging, exercise, and walking to remain committed to a healthy lifestyle.

5. Pamper Yourself With Self-Love

More often than not, people run after perfection. But sometimes, it can put you under a lot of stress. In such times, you need to remember it is alright to be less than perfect.

Be kind to yourself even if you fail. Once you stop trying to control everything and start practicing self-love, you will be more satisfied with your life. It will, in turn, make you happy being by yourself.

Quick Tip

Self-care is personal, and it should contribute to your well-being. Eating nutritious foods, journaling, taking a relaxing bath, learning a new skill, playing a musical instrument, or gardening are some practical examples of self-care.

6. Nurture Your Passion

Is there something you always wanted to do but never found the time or opportunity to pursue? Even if you have never had any passion, you can try doing things that aren’t part of your routine life.

It can be something as simple as trying out a new recipe, learning a new craft, or doing anything else that interests you. You can even volunteer at animal shelters or retirement facilities. Focusing on something new can enhance your confidence and teach you to be happy while being on your own.

7. Bid Goodbye To Comparisons

Every life is different, and so are the struggles and achievements associated with them. Avoid comparing yourself to others. As you scroll through social media platforms, you may come across plenty of people who seem to have picture-perfect lives. Maybe it is just the pictures that are perfect and not their lives.

Even if their lives are perfect, it must not be a reason for you to feel any less about yourself or your life. Rather than feeling self-pity, work towards fulfilling your dreams and becoming a better version of yourself.

Lucie, a devoted reader, writer, and photographer, often reflects on life’s quirks and absurdities on her blog. While navigating her fitness journey and working on her body, she opens up about the relentless comparisons we face in life. She writes, “Gosh, I wish I knew that earlier in my life. I used to compare myself to all the girls. And, of course, it always came off badly. I was never as good or as beautiful as them. ‘They’ were always ‘better’ than me. I completely stopped comparing myself to others…Of course, I realize differences, and I am aware of my weaknesses and where I have to / want to work on. The people who are ‘better’ than me are my inspiration. I admire them, and it makes me want to work harder – with joy (i).”

8. Live In The Present

Life is about living in the present. When you hold on to past mistakes, you continue to carry their burden into the present. Likewise, if you constantly worry about your future, you miss out on living in the present.

Go out and do the things that you have always thought about doing later. Cherish the little things that add joy to your life. For instance, take out time to appreciate the blooming flowers in your garden or treat yourself to your favorite ice cream once in a while. Be mindful of all that is happening around you and celebrate life through the big and small moments.

9. Cherish Your Network

Getting used to being alone does not mean you have to give up on your relationships. Take time to nurture them. If you cannot meet them physically, ring them up and talk to them. Be genuine in your interactions.

Small gestures, such as wishing them on their birthdays or congratulating them on their achievements, can help you strike a balance between being alone and staying connected.

10. Get Used to the Idea of Doing Nothing

When was the last time you allowed your mind to wander? Keep aside five minutes every day to free your mind from every thought and emotion. Sit down in a quiet place, away from all distractions, such as your phone, TV, internet, music, etc.

Close your eyes and allow your mind to drift away. See where it leads you. It may not be easy at first, but you will enjoy this exercise after a few days. It will make you comfortable with silence.

11. Enjoy The Beauty Of Nature

Go out and start spending time in nature. Head out to a nearby park or green area and start walking. Allow your mind to soak in the smell, sights, and sounds of nature.

You will find the fragrance of flowers, the chirping of birds, and the beauty of plants and trees soothing. Soon, you will realize there is so much to observe and enjoy even when you are alone.

Did You Know?

The Japanese concept of “shinrin-yoku”, or “forest bathing”, involves relaxing and sitting quietly in the presence of trees. This sensory activity enables you to destress and enhance your mental health.

12. Be Grateful For What You Have

It is so easy to take the things you have for granted and run after what you don’t have. Rather than doing that, start practicing gratitude. Each day, take some time to reflect on the things you have in your life and be grateful for them. These can be anything — your family, job, house, car, or pet. This act of gratitude will enhance your happiness and contentment. The practice of gratitude helps enhance mood, optimism, and mental health. Those who regularly express gratitude often experience reduced stress and anxiety, leading to a more positive outlook on life. Gratitude practice, such as journaling, can bring about lasting changes in the brain, fostering a sense of hope and optimism.

13. Meditate Regularly

From the time you wake up to the time you retire for the day, your brain functions continuously without any break. In fact, even in sleep, it is engaged in keeping you alive. While you give your body a break when working for long hours to re-energize, our brain also needs to reset once in a while to function properly and keep you happy. For the brain, meditation gives it the break it needs. Take 15 minutes of your daily routine to sit down, relax, and meditate. You can allocate a few minutes to daily meditation, deep breathing exercises, or even journaling down thoughts. Meditation helps to calm the mind, creating space for clarity and focus, while deep breathing soothes the nervous system and reduces stress. Journaling serves as a mental release to process your emotions and reflect on how your day has gone. This will not only help reduce stress and anxiety levels but also increase mindfulness and self-awareness. Meditation gives you the chance to reflect on your emotions and breathe out your frustrations, keeping you grounded in the present.

Frequently Asked Questions

How do you know you’re happy with yourself?

When you are happy with yourself, you feel a sense of belonging, are extremely honest with yourself, learn to say no whenever it is needed, and also learn that your past won’t let you stop.

What makes a person truly happy?

Good health, stability (mental and financial), and a true sense of fulfillment may make a person truly happy.

How do you help someone who isn’t happy with themselves?

Be a good listener, give the assurance that you are there for them, offer the moral support they need, and try to motivate and tell them how important it is to maintain their self-esteem and mental health.

Why is self-love so difficult?

If you have that fear of not being good enough, that will make you fail to love yourself. Also, a wrong idea of the “real” you and your past will make you disconnect yourself from self-love.

Do you have high expectations of yourself that you can’t meet? It is time to go easy on yourself and be happy with all that you are. Check out the following video to learn how to do it.

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Reviewer Author Editor Fact Checker

Ronald HoangRelationship & Family Counselor

   

Ronald Hoang is a clinical counselor/psychotherapist based in Sydney, Australia, with close to a decade of experience. He graduated with a bachelor's degree in psychology from Macquarie University and a postgraduate degree in counseling from the Australian College of Applied Professions.

Read full bio of Ronald Hoang

Shivani ChandelBeauty & Lifestyle Writer

 

Shivani Chandel is a postgraduate in English literature from Panjab University, Chandigarh and a certified relationship coach. She has four years of experience in copy editing and writing about entertainment, health, lifestyle, and beauty.

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Shatabdi BhattacharyaAssociate Editor

Shatabdi is an associate editor and an alumnus of Lady Brabourne College, Kolkata, where she honed her skills and developed a deep understanding of the world of literature and expression. She has worked with various organizations and websites operating in different industries, ranging from education to lifestyle, showing her adaptability and drive to learn.

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Sneha TeteBeauty & Lifestyle Writer

Sneha holds a master’s degree in Applied Linguistics from the University of Hyderabad and a professional Relationship Coach diploma. With over four years of experience in writing, she specializes in crafting insightful articles on relationships and lifestyle.

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