How To Give Him Space – Dos & Don’ts (To Avoid Losing Him)

No matter how intimate you are, your partner would often need his space in a relationship. So, as a mature mate, you should know how to give him space and not make it feel like a forced decision. Showing love is always good, but it should always be healthy. If your partner feels you are too clingy, he may try to avoid you, which isn’t a good sign for a relationship. The relationship can see a downward spiral from there. To avoid such a situation, you must respect your partner’s space, distance, and the need for respite and time apart. This article will help you understand the concept of space in a relationship and more. Continue reading to know more.

Let us learn what giving space to him in a relationship means and how you can smoothly let him have some personal space without making it weird or too obvious.

What Does Giving Him Space Mean?

Giving space to your partner means giving them the time and emotional freedom to pursue their own interests. It can be anything from hobbies to personal growth. They should be able to do what they like without feeling overly monitored or constrained in the relationship.

When you give him his space, it helps him know you are trusting him and respecting his individuality.

Giving space doesn’t mean distancing emotionally but rather maintaining a healthy balance between togetherness and individuality. This can help prevent feelings of suffocation or burnout in the relationship.

Read on to know when you need to give him space in the next section.

When To Give Him Space

It is natural to desire to be with your partner 24/7 when you are in a relationship. However, that may not be ideal for him or the relationship. Here’s a list of the signs that indicate you need to give him space:

• He Has Asked For Space

If your partner has mentioned it, he really needs some space. Do not be offended. Take a deep breath and understand why he wants it. Can it be that he enjoys his time alone, wants to be with his friends, or something significant is coming up? Giving your partner some isolation or a pause from the relationship does not mean he is bored of the relationship or no longer cares or loves you.

• You Are Never Apart

While it can be exciting to do everything together in the initial few months, eventually, one of you might want a little space. This can happen whether you are married or in a live-in relationship where you both are constantly with each other. If it is him in this instance, do not be hurt. A little space will make him miss you and cherish every moment you spend together.

• He Is In A Bad Mood

Are you picking up hints that he is in a bad mood? Does he not want to talk about it? Well, it’s a sign that he wants you to give him space. Whatever is bothering him, he wants to deal with it without talking about it right now. This withdrawal may be temporary, and giving him space can help him work through his emotions.

• You Are Having Too Many Fights

Yes, couples argue, but do your arguments escalate into fights? Do you both take responsibility for hurting each other while you are fighting? Or do you have unresolved issues? If you have too many fights and he does not lend an ear to your needs, back off a bit. Give him the space to rethink his actions. And so can you. Sometimes, not allowing space can contribute to a stagnant relationship. In some cases, a split or breakup may be necessary if the issues cannot be resolved through communication and compromise.

• You Are Not Taking Out Time For Yourself

Women often tend to give everything to a relationship. And on the way, they lose touch with their friends, passion, skills, and even themselves! Giving him space does not mean you get to do nothing. It also allows you to reclaim your personal space in the relationship. You will also get some time for yourself to think, pursue your dreams, catch up with friends, and define yourself by who you are and not by who you are with.

Remember, men react differently to tough situations as compared to women. His need for space does not mean he does not want to be in the relationship. It can mean that he needs to deal with things alone. Allow him to do that. Here are the 10 ways you can give him space and not lose him.

How To Give Him Space – Things To Do

1. Focus On Yourself

When was the last time you took a break to focus on yourself? Do you still have the same level of freedom and routine that you had before you met your partner? Do you have the same zeal to improve your skills or the same goals before meeting your partner? A little tweak here and there for your companion is cute, but not focusing on what you want to do is not pleasant.

Men like women who are focused and determined to get what they want. List out all the things you were doing before you met him – and pick up where you left. You will stop thinking or worrying about your partner. And he will also appreciate you more.

Here are a few things you can do to spend more engaging time with yourself.

• Immerse yourself in a novel or a self-help book. Reading expands your mind and provides a sense of fulfillment.
• You can also engage in physical activities like yoga, running, or a long walk. Exercising alone allows you to focus on your well-being and clear your thoughts.
• Enjoy a movie or TV series that you love. It’s a great way to unwind and relax.
• Spend time writing down your thoughts, goals, or feelings. Journaling helps with self-reflection and emotional processing.
• Explore a museum, art gallery, or cultural event at your own pace. It’s a peaceful way to enrich your knowledge and enjoy your own company.
• Take a day trip or plan a solo vacation. Traveling alone allows you to explore new places on your terms and build confidence.
• Set aside time for meditation or mindfulness exercises. It helps center your mind and promotes inner peace.
• Sign up for a class, whether it’s online or in person, on a topic that interests you. It’s a great way to learn and meet new people while focusing on yourself.
• Indulge in a spa day at home, take a long bath, or simply pamper yourself. Taking care of your mental and physical health on your own is important for personal balance.

These solo activities will boost your personal growth and emotional self-reliance, which are key to maintaining balance in both your personal life and relationships.

2. Catch Up With Your Friends

Having a support system is extremely important. Whether your partner has asked for space or not, keep your friends close. No matter what stage your relationship is in, taking a hiatus to reconnect with your support system is crucial. If you have not been in touch with your gals for a while, reconnect with them. Go on movie dates, brunches, shopping sprees, or short weekend trips. Finding you living a life of your choice with a circle of your own will make him respect and miss you even more. Plus, it helps maintain healthy boundaries in relationships, ensuring that neither of you becomes too clingy.

3. Learn A New Skill

Embracing your independence and taking some time apart from your partner to learn a new skill can be very fulfilling. There is no age limit for learning. What is it that you have always wanted to learn? Don’t wait up, do a quick search, and channel your energy into learning this new skill. It will not only add a new feather to your cap but also be very rewarding to see what you can achieve. You will also be less worried about your partner, which will eventually help you relax and let him have his space.

4. Prepare For A Career Boost

Whether you want a promotion or are looking at going back to school, use the time you have to give your career a solid boost. Study, work extra hours, join a library or an online course, meet professionals in the same field, and do what it takes to succeed. Also, give yourself a deadline because, without a deadline, a wish is only a wish, not a goal.

5. Join A Social Cause

Give your partner the required space and use this time to work for a social cause. In this time of separation, volunteer for women’s rights, the LGBTQA community, the elderly, people with disabilities, cancer fighters, etc. Your exposure to these groups will help reduce worries about your partner. You will have a new circle to connect with regularly. It is always fulfilling to be a part of a positive ripple that will help make the world a better place.

6. Do What’s In Your Bucket List

What’s in your bucket list? How many haven’t you done yet? If you do not have a bucket list yet, make one now. If you already have a bucket list, find out which ones you can fulfill now – whether it is reading a book per month or going scuba diving.

7. Make New Friends

New people bring new perspectives and help broaden your horizons. Thus, it is always a good idea to make new friends. Whether you are at a party, library, or community function, don’t shy away from introducing yourself to people and striking a conversation. You will be amazed at how talented and knowledgeable people are. You will also like the freshness of the conversations and learn to be more tolerant towards people with a different outlook.

8. Join A Dance Class

Dancing is a good calorie burner and helps release serotonin, a feel-good hormone. It also helps you become fitter, improves your posture, balance, and hand-eye coordination, and promotes great mental health. Communicating with your peers through music and dance will help you bond with them on a deeper level.

9. Have A Sleepover Party

Sleepovers with your gal pals are a great way to give your partner space. Have a fun girls’ night, order takeaway, open a bottle of wine, watch a movie, and chatter away to sleep.

P.S. Don’t look at your phone or engage in long texts with your partner. Just be in the moment and enjoy yourself. Let him miss you.

Quick Tip

You can pick a theme like retro night or Hollywood glam. Apart from this, you can organize massages or do DIY manicures while chatting and gorging on delicious food.

10. Be Positive And Happy

Giving him space can be difficult, but it is crucial that you stay positive and happy. Everything happens for a reason. Since you do not know why he wants space, do not make any assumptions. Worrying about it will only make you act in ways that you will not be proud of later.

If your partner has asked for space, it can mean he needs to deal with certain things on his own. There’s also a possibility that he is rethinking his commitment or the future of this relationship. Here are the things that you must avoid.

Tantowi, a blogger, shares valuable lessons learned from six years of a harmonious relationship, emphasizing the importance of giving space, listening, honesty, and effective communication to nurture a lasting connection with a partner. She says, “I was fortunate to meet someone who was on the same page as me (i)”

Quick Tip

If you and your partner live together, you can establish “Do Not Disturb” zones in the house. This is a zone where both can spend some alone time and enjoy privacy.

How To Give Him Space – Things Not To Do

• Do Not Chase Him

Chasing after your partner will only make him run faster in the opposite direction. Thus, when he asks for space, do not chase him via messages, calls, or social media tagging. Let him know that you respect his decision.

• Do Not Interrogate Him

Wanting to know what he was up to might feel like an interrogation. This can make things worse. Giving him space might not feel sincere to him and can trigger a sense of suffocation. Unless he tells you what he was up to, resist the urge to ask him about it.

• Do Not Call Or Text Him

It is natural to want to call or text him. But if he has asked for space, do not call or text him. Wait for him to contact you.

• Do Not Shower Him With Romantic Gestures

This is not the ideal time to shower him with romantic gestures. Avoid sending him gifts, flowers, and your photos. He might feel he is not getting enough space, which can make him more distant emotionally.

• Do Not Stalk Him On Social Media

What is he up to? Who is he hanging out with? These questions can pop in your mind. But do not invest in a quest with an unknown result. Instead, if you focus on yourself, you will improve your skills, hobbies, and well-being. Stalking him on social media is going to do no good.

Below are a few more tips on how to give him space.

Tips For Giving Him Space Without Losing Him

• Have faith that everything is going to turn out the way it was supposed to.
• You cannot change his feelings. So, don’t try.
• If your partner asks for space, respect his decision and take a step back.
• Do not nag or apologize. Use this time to reflect on the bond you have with him.
• Do not take it personally. People have different capacities for investing in romantic relationships.
• Spend time with people who make you happy.
• Consult a therapist about your ongoing issue.

This brings us to one important question – how long should you give him space? Find the answer below.

How Long Should You Give Him Space?

Having some form of detachment and giving space are necessary in a relationship. But snapping all connections for too long is also not advisable. If your partner has not called or texted for more than three days, the issue might be serious. However, resist the urge to call him and wait for a week to pass. If you still get a cold text or call, you should take the hint.

Nobody wants to feel suffocated in a relationship. Whether you live together or not, having your circle of friends and a world of “things to do” can be of great help. Have faith that your partner will open up about the things that are bothering him. Give him the time and space he needs. But it is also important to understand that too much space can make you both emotionally distant. Don’t let your worry of losing him make you miss out on your precious time and opportunity to learn and grow.

The glue that keeps a relationship together is honest and effective communication. Giving space is not the same as silent treatment. It is actually just the opposite. Here is why communication is important even when you both give each other space.

Maintaining Healthy Communication While Giving Space

Maintaining healthy communication is crucial for the well-being of any relationship, and this holds true even when you give each other space. Space should never mean shutting down lines of communication or leaving feelings unaddressed. Here’s why healthy communication remains essential:

1. It Clarifies Intentions

By discussing the need for space, you both can understand its purpose. This prevents misunderstandings and one partner does not end up feeling neglected or rejected.

2. It Builds Trust

When you communicate clearly about boundaries, it builds trust. Your partner knows that even with some physical or emotional distance, you’re still committed to the relationship.

3. It Strengthens Emotional Connection

Checking in with each other, even when you are spending time apart, keeps the emotional connection intact. Short messages or occasional conversations show that while you’re respecting each other’s need for space, the emotional bond remains strong.

4. It Promotes Emotional Safety

Creating an environment where both of you feel safe to express your needs and concerns helps avoid feelings of isolation. Healthy communication will let him know they can still come to you for support and understanding.

5. It Facilitates Conflict Resolution

Space can sometimes bring unresolved issues to light. Without open communication, these issues may grow. A willingness to discuss challenges or feelings while allowing space prevents resentment.

Healthy communication during periods of space creates balance. It allows you both the freedom to grow individually while staying emotionally connected. It ensures that the relationship remains strong and supportive.

Infographic: The Pros And Cons Of Giving Space In A Relationship

Understanding and respecting each other’s space is important for a relationship to thrive. If your partner needs some space to figure things out, it is best to give it to them. While giving some space has its advantages, too much space may do you more than good.

Check out the infographic below to know more.

Illustration: StyleCraze Design Team

Frequently Asked Questions

How can giving space enhance emotional intimacy in a relationship?

Giving space in a relationship allows you to recharge and reflect. This time apart can deepen emotional intimacy by strengthening trust and creating opportunities for a more meaningful connection when together.

Does giving a man space work?

Yes, giving men some space works. Women want to talk about their problems, but men are quiet problem solvers. So, give him the space he wants and let him come back to you.

Do guys miss you when you give them space?

Yes, guys miss you when you give them space. If he is truly invested in the relationship, he will miss you after a few hours.

Why is it important to give someone space?

It is important to give someone space because spending time alone can help improve individual growth, improves mental and emotional well-being, and also increases communication in relationships.

How do you know if someone needs space?

You will know if someone needs space if they seem a bit frustrated, keep canceling plans, withdraw themselves from social gatherings, or are not texting as frequently, then consider they need some space.

What are some common misconceptions about giving someone space?

Some common misconceptions about giving someone space are some people believing that giving someone space in the relationship is a sign of weakness and is also a sign that the relationship is over. But it actually improves the relationship and allows individuals to focus on their goals and take care of their well-being.

How can giving someone space improve a relationship?

When we are with someone all the time, it may create boredom or a feeling of suffocation. Giving someone space in a relationship with clear boundaries can strengthen the bond. It allows partners to miss each other, which, in turn, increases the feeling of affection.

You can foster a strong connection and nurture a healthy relationship by understanding the importance of giving your partner space. Discover effective strategies in the video below.

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Mira MasukawaLicensed Marriage Family Therapist

   

Mira Masukawa is a licensed marriage family therapist with 10 years of experience in grief, trauma, and anxiety cases. She also owns a group practice, San Diego Grief Counseling, and deals with clients through tele-therapy.

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Sneha TeteBeauty & Lifestyle Writer

 

Sneha has a master's degree in Applied Linguistics from the University of Hyderabad, a professional Relationship Coach diploma, and over four years of experience in writing. She writes about relationships and lifestyle.Sneha began her career as an instructional designer, shifted to freelance technical and research writing, and self-published a novella on the theme of adolescent mental health.

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