234 Intimate Questions To Ask Your Husband

These questions help you understand your partner better and strengthen your bond.

Reviewed by Dr Nancy B Irwin, PsyD

Originally from Atlanta, Dr. Nancy Irwin graduated from UWG in 1977 with a Bachelor of Music in Opera Performance. She moved to New York City in 1985 to pursue a career as a stand-up comedian. She worked all over the country and abroad and moved to Los Angeles in 1994 when she heard that Hollywood needed more blondes.

Read full bio of Dr Nancy B Irwin

Written by Sneha Tete, Integrated MA, Certified Relationship Coach Experience: 4 years

Sneha has a master's degree in Applied Linguistics from the University of Hyderabad, a professional Relationship Coach diploma, and over four years of experience in writing. She writes about relationships and lifestyle.Sneha began her career as an instructional designer, shifted to freelance technical and research writing, and self-published a novella on the theme of adolescent mental health.

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Edited by Asmita De, MA (English) Experience: 3 years

Asmita De is an associate editor with over three years of experience. She graduated in English Literature from the University of Calcutta. She has collaborated with several digital companies and reputed publishing houses as an editor.

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Last Updated on Oct 22, 2024

Woman Asking Intimate Questions To Her Husband

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An intimate discussion is not something related to only bedroom conversations. Any discussion which opens up feelings between partners is intimate. ‘Intimate questions to ask your husband’ can be of any kind. These may include his childhood memories, future planning, memories of the past, little things they cherish, fantasies, or even dreams. An intimate conversation can be built on any topic and questions that make it sound interesting. It helps you get to know your partner and build a healthy relationship, and also makes your partner feel comfortable. It creates a space for vulnerability, allowing partners to feel safe when emotionally relying on each other, consequently fortifying the foundations of the relationship. So, know what these interesting questions are, which can build a meaningful conversation between you and your partner right here. Continue reading to know more.

In This Article

Questions About His Childhood

Intimate questions to ask your husband about his childhood

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Our childhood plays a key role in shaping the kind of people we become as adults. Asking your husband about his childhood is a great way of not just knowing him as he is, but also to understand his life’s journey. If you don’t know how to broach the subject with him, these questions can help.

Who was the teacher in school that had the most impact on you?
What was your favorite ice cream as a kid?
What did you look forward to the most every day?
What was your relationship with your parents like?
Did your dad play games with you?
What were some emotional challenges you experienced as a child?
In school, were you one of the tough guys or an introvert?
What were your wildest adventures in your youth before we got married?
Have you ever dealt with legal consequences in your life?
If you could relive a day in your life, which one would it be?
Have you ever dealt with complicated relationships?
Who was your role model when you were growing up?
What are your favorite or most valued lessons from your childhood?
How did you learn to overcome challenges, discomfort, fears, or inhibitions throughout your life?
What is your fondest memory from childhood?
Who was your best friend from childhood?
Is there a childhood friend you haven’t seen in years whom you wish to meet now?
Were you ever sent to the principal’s office? If yes, why?
What did you want to be when you grew up?

Questions About The Past

Intimate questions to ask your husband about the past

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Reflecting on past episodes in your relationship is a great way to identify issues and discuss solutions with your partner. Take cues from the questions below to get an idea of the instances that need to be addressed.

What was a pivotal moment in your life and how did it shape who you are today?
How many girlfriends have you had in the past?
Were you ever madly in love before?
What did you think about me when we first met?
Were you looking for a relationship when we met?
Have you been completely honest in your past relationships?
What made you ask me out? OR What made you agree to go out with me? (Depending on who the first one was to ask the other out)
How have your feelings for me evolved over time?
Who is your role model in love?
Which celebrity were you in love with when you were in school/college?
Did you imagine any future with me after our first couple of dates?
Have you experienced lasting disappointments in your previous relationships?
Have you ever had casual relationships? (Be prepared for answers to questions such as this. Sometimes it is best to focus on who and what your partner is now, vs. what they were in the past. People need some things to be kept private so that trust is not unduly questioned).
What’s your biggest regret?
What was your most embarrassing moment?
What was going through your mind on our first date?
What is the weirdest thing you have ever eaten?
If you had a chance to change one thing from your past, what would it be?
What is the one accomplishment of your life you are really proud of?
What was the best thing that happened to you last month?
Have you ever felt deeply emotional about something? What was it? Do you feel similarly about it even now?
Were you ever nervous around me when we started dating?
Have you ever been heartbroken?
If you could give one piece of advice to your teenage self, what would it be?
What is the nicest compliment you have ever received?
What was one of the worst habits in your past?
What is your favorite song from your teenage years?
What is the craziest thing you have ever done? Have you regretted it later?
How did you cope with your first heartbreak?
What are the worst and best jobs you have had so far?
Which was your longest romantic relationship?

Questions About Attraction

Intimate questions to ask your husband about attraction

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There is more than just physical attraction that keeps a couple together. The following questions offer insights into the mechanisms of attraction within your relationship.

How do you think our emotional connection influences your attraction towards me?
What attracted you to me physically?
What attracted you to me emotionally?
Did you have a ’type’ before you met me?
What qualities do you see in me that make you think I am special?
How would you describe me to other people?
What are your future plans with me?
Do you think we should have #marriage goals?
Would you like to do things on your bucket list with me?
If I promised to fulfill three of your wishes, what would you wish me to do?
Do you look at other women? (Again, be prepared for any answer to this, or do not ask it. And be apt to answer this same question for him).
Is there anything about me you find confusing and would like to understand better, but never knew how to ask?
What type of perfume do you like on your woman?
How vital is initial physical attraction to you to pursue a relationship?
Have you ever been hit on by a man? How did you react?
What would you like me to do for you that I don’t do now?
If I changed drastically physically, like became fat or shaved my head, would you still want to be with me?
Would you still be attracted to me when we are old?
Do you like celebrating special occasions?
Who was your first crush?
What quality in a person do you find the most attractive?
What is your idea of the perfect romantic date?
What draws you to people romantically?
What makes a date night great?
What are your thoughts on regularly making time for date nights?
Is there something that makes me different from other women?
In what situation would you rather be alone than with me?

Questions About The Future

Questions to ask your husband about attraction

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Couples looking to create solid foundations for a long-term relationship, need to consider if their future goals align. With shared future goals, both partners can feel heard and valued and work together to strengthen their relationship. The following questions are great for building a conversation around this topic.

Would you want to have kids soon? If yes, how many?
Where and how do you see us five years from now?
What are your retirement plans?
Would you like our parents to live with us when they are too old to take care of themselves?
What are your thoughts on family planning?
What are your occupational goals, and would they affect our future together?
If I got a job elsewhere, would you mind if I went? Would you shift with me?
What do you think of long-distance relationships? Like if you were in the Army.
Where would you want to live when you retire?
What do you expect from me as your lover?
How would you like to spend your weekends when we have kids?
Once we have kids, would you still want to go out on dates with me and spend alone-time with me?
Will you help out with the kids?
What kind of a mother do you think I will be? What kind of a father will you be?
How often do you think we must go on family vacations?
Would you ever do an extreme sport?
If you won a lottery, what would you do with the money?
Are you interested in becoming famous?
If we were planning to travel now, where would you want to go and why?
What is lacking in our relationship that you would want us to work on in the future?
What is one of your biggest dreams for our future?
How would you handle it if you realized our relationship is not working out as expected?

Questions About Love

Intimate questions to ask your husband about love

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Love may be an intense emotion. But it is also a conscious choice you make every day of your life. Make time to ask deep relationship questions to your significant other, ensuring that you both plan to grow together as a couple.

How do you want me to show you how much I love you?
Was it love-at-first-sight with me?
Do you believe in soulmates and destiny?

Do you believe in happily-ever-after?
When was the first time you realized you were in love with me?
If I am upset or angry, how would you pacify me?
Will you let your ego come in the way if we had a massive fight?
Do you ever worry about the future of our relationship?
Would you get into a fight or walk away if someone teased me?
Do you like it when I compliment you?
Do you like useful, practical gifts or gifts with some emotional value?
Do you think it is possible for people to cheat even when they are in love?
Would you forgive me if I got drunk and was not loyal to you? (Here is another one that you want to be really sure you can handle the answer to, or do not ask it).
Do you believe in the romantic notion that true love only ever happens once in a lifetime?
What do you think I look most beautiful in?
Is there a song that makes you think of me?
Can you name a movie that you can relate to our relationship?
What is your fondest memory from our initial days of courtship?
What would you love to experience with me that we haven’t done already?
What, according to you, is the most unforgivable thing in a relationship?
What is the deepest or most meaningful thing you have learned from me?
How many things that we have in common can you name?
If money wasn’t a factor, where would you like to spend our anniversary?
Do you prefer spending time with me indoors or on a day out?
Have you ever broken someone’s heart? Can you tell me why?
What is the craziest thing you have ever done for love?

Questions About Physical Intimacy Between The Two Of You

Questions to ask your husband about physical intimacy

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Physical intimacy is a two-way street. It shouldn’t feel like a chore that needs to be taken care of naturally in a relationship. While two people can want different things in the bedroom, it is best to be on the same page, or at least, be transparent about their expectations with physical intimacy. This ensures both partners feel fulfilled and harbor no unspoken disappointments or resentments. Pick up on the following topics to build a sense of security and satisfaction in your physical relationship.

Do you like just cuddling up with me?
Do you have any fantasies?
What color lingerie do you like me to wear?
Is our physical relationship good enough for you? Do you feel anything is missing?
What makes you feel most physically and emotionally connected to me?
How often would you want us to be intimate?
How do you feel about intimate toys?
Do you enjoy role play?
Where and how do you like to be touched?
What is a physical habit or trait in me that is an unexpected turn-on for you?
What kind of foreplay do you enjoy?
What can I do outside the bedroom to keep you enticed throughout the day?
Would you like to take a shower with me?
What do you feel about a late-night swim with me?
Do you enjoy adult movies and magazines?
Does close dancing turn you on?
What do you think is my most sensual quality?
Would you do a strip dance for $100?
Is there anything we haven’t tried in the bedroom that you would like to?
Do you prefer it when I am assertive or submissive in the bedroom?
What is something that you’ve noticed turns me on, but I haven’t ever admitted to it?
Have you ever Googled ideas to spice up your lovemaking?
You get to choose my outfit for the day. What would you choose?
What would you rather see me in: your T-shirt or provocative lingerie?
Is there anything you want to change about our physical and emotional intimacy?
Do you have any favorite positions?

Quick Tip

Find a time and place where you will not be distracted by outside interruptions or obligations. To foster empathy and an emotional connection, maintain eye contact when asking intimate questions.

Questions On Text Messages

Questions to ask your husband on text messages

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Reaching out to your husband via text will let him know that you think of him in his absence. Especially if you are having to endure a long-distance situation due to work-related or other reasons. Do drop him a thoughtful, romantic question that makes him feel missed and appreciated while also allowing him a moment to think of you.

Are you missing me?
If I walked into your office and shut the door, what do you imagine doing with me?
Is there something you would like me to do when you come back home?
Where would you kiss me after coming back home?
How would you describe our relationship in one word?
Have you eaten your lunch?
What is one thing you have been wanting to tell me but have not yet?
What would you prefer right now – tea, coffee, or me?
Do you wanna guess what I am thinking about right now?
Do you wanna see me in a skirt or tight jeans?
What is the hottest thing I can do for you?
Are you randomly turned on at work just thinking about me?
What reminded you of me today?
Can you think of a song we can make love to when you get home?

General Questions About Building Your Bond

Questions to ask your husband to build your bond

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As the relationship blossoms, you both will grow as a couple. But it is equally important to grow individually as well. However, ensure that you do not grow apart either. Be curious about little things that make him tick and show an interest in his little interests to truly build and intimate relationship. Ask the following questions that will keep your relationship cemented despite the years.

Is there a song which you think could be ’our song?’
If you met an attractive woman, would you tell her you are married?
How do you feel about doing something together, like play a sport or join a salsa class or painting class? What would you like to do together?
What kind of house would you like to have with me? An apartment complex or a stand-alone bungalow with a garden?
When do you feel the closest to me?
Do you think I am a good wife? Are you proud of me?
If you were having trouble at work, would you share it with me?
Do you like to go for long walks or drives with me?
Would you eat the same ice cream as me?
How would you like to help with the housework?
Do you think it is important to tell each other how much we love or miss each other? Do these words matter to you?
Will you continue saying I love you till our last breath together?
Would you like to renew our vows in a church with family and friends when we hit our 25th anniversary?
Would you like our kids to look like you or me?
Do you remember birthdays and anniversaries (including ours), or do you wait for social media to remind you?
Do you enjoy getting flowers from me?
Which qualities of mine were you first attracted to?
Imagine we get to meet again for the first time. What would you say to me that you regretted not saying in our first meeting?
Something that has always been on your mind, but you never asked me.
How and when did you know that we would make a great couple?
Is there something regarding me that has constantly been at the back of your mind?
Is there something you haven’t told me because you think I may judge you?
How would you describe me when telling other people about me?
When you are upset about something, do you want to discuss it with me or want me to give you space?
What incident has seriously upset you in recent months?
Is there something you don’t like joking about?
Have you ever been afraid of something in our relationship I don’t know about?
Would you be willing to share some of your deepest thoughts when you are by yourself?
What are you most thankful for in your life?

Questions To Better Understand Your Partner

Hold hands and ask these intimate questions to understand your husband better

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You and your husband are different people. Even if you do not agree with his methods, it is always important that you try to understand him, and he does the same. Ask the following questions to pick his mind, allowing him a glimpse into yours as well.

What’s your idea of a perfect day? How would you like to spend it?
If you don’t have to work to earn your living, what would you like to do with your life?
Are our careers affecting our relationship?
Can you name one thing/activity that always brings you joy?
How would you describe love in a sentence?
What is the best way to face a problem?
Can you tell me one incident or occasion when you have felt proud of me?
How can I help you overcome your fears?
What is your biggest weakness?
Do you ever worry about us breaking up?
What is the dumbest thing you have ever thought of doing in love?
Imagine you win a million dollars. What would you do?
Is there a skill you want to acquire to be better in bed?
What is the one thing you would never want to change about yourself?
Do you have any insecurity regarding your physical appearance? If yes, what is it?
Is there a bad habit of mine that bothers you?
Have you ever felt jealous of my relationship with someone?
What do you tend to do when you feel stressed?
What is most likely to be the reason for your arrest?
Is there one household chore you never want to do again?
Do I do anything that drives you nuts?
What would be your definition of a perfect vacation?
What is that one thing you would never get tired of?

Creative Questions To Ask Your Husband

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Your questions need not always be deep and serious. Consider the following quirky and fun relationship questions that will keep you and your husband entertained while teaching you both new things about each other.

Imagine the world is coming to an end. What would you love to eat one last time?
You are going to be on a secluded island for a month. What three things would you carry?
If you could bring one cartoon or fictional character to life, who would it be?
If you could be immortal and be a certain age forever, what age would it be and why?
Imagine the house is on fire. You can just save one of all your possessions. What would it be?
What is more important: happiness or financial security?
If you could solve one world problem, what would it be?
If you could go back in time, which time of your life would you want to be in?
If I looked through your phone right now, what would be the most embarrassing thing I would find?
What is the strangest or weirdest thing you have Googled in the recent past?
Your top three pet peeves.
What is an activity you enjoyed as a child that you still love the same way?
If you could have only a single type of food for the rest of your life, what would you choose?
If you could keep only 5 people on your Facebook friends list, who would they be?
If you could switch places with one person for a day, who would it be?
If someone gives you $1000 right now with no questions asked, what would you do with it?
Which famous TV character do you have a crush on that you would like me to role-play?

This was our mindfully curated list of intimate questions that can help you build a genuine connection with your husband. It can help foster reliability, transparency, trust, and honesty in the relationship. However, timing and tact are also important when asking these questions. So, let us understand when and how to ask these intimate questions to enhance your relationship.

Quick Tip

When your partner responds to your questions in unexpected ways, try not to react angrily or harshly. Keep in mind that some of their responses may surprise you.

Tips To Ask Intimate Questions

Asking intimate questions can help you and your partner grow closer and get to know each other even better. However, you cannot make them uncomfortable with your curiosity. So, here are some tips that you should keep in mind when asking them these deep questions.

Choose a relaxed and comfortable seating place to put you both at ease.
Start by asking general questions and slowly build up toward intimate ones.
Give your husband the time to process and express his thoughts in depth.
Do not push your husband to answer if he appears uncomfortable or hesitant.
Maintain eye contact to let him know you are genuinely interested in the conversation.
Give yourself time to listen and process his answers to understand his perspective.
Express your thoughts and feelings honestly and respectfully.
Be empathetic and validate each other’s perspectives.
Remember there cannot always be right or wrong answers, but the discussions that follow are most important.

Infographic: 10 Intimate Questions That Will Deepen Your Relationship With Your Husband

Intimate questions are not just restricted to the bedroom. You can have various kinds of questions to ask your partner. Any question that makes your husband open up to you and share his feelings and memories is intimate. It could revolve around any topic. Go through the infographic below for the top 10 intimate questions you can ask your husband to know him better and build a healthy relationship.

top 10 intimate questions for your husband (infographic)

Intimate questions can help you better understand your husband’s thoughts, feelings, and desires. They can also create a safe space for both of you to express honesty and vulnerability and help build emotional intimacy. You can ask questions about their childhood, past, and thoughts on love and attraction. For instance, questions about their favorite ice cream and games can provide you a better understanding and insight into their likes and dislikes. In addition, you can get to know a lot about their outlook on life by asking questions about their retirement plans, occupational goals, and bucket list.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is intimacy to a man?

For many men, intimacy is a close connection formed through shared experiences and activities.

How can I improve my intimacy?

Enhancing intimacy with your partner starts with open communication, trust, mutual respect, and empathy. These elements will strengthen your bond and bring joy to your relationship.

What romantic questions to ask a husband?

You can ask questions like “What is your favorite memory of us together?” or “What did you think of me when we first met?” You can ask them flirty questions as well.

What are some hot questions to ask a husband?

You can ask them hot questions like “have you ever participated in a group skinny dip?” or “What is your favorite body part of mine?”.

How do I ask my husband for intimacy?

Be open with your partner about your intimacy needs. Remember communication is key to keeping the relationship strong.

Key Takeaways

Any discussion which opens up feelings between partners is considered an intimate conversation.
An intimate conversation helps you get to know your partner and build a healthy relationship.
Intimate questions to ask your partner can be of any kind, including questions about childhood, the past, the future and various other aspects of life as individuals as well as a couple.

Illustration: Intimate Questions To Ask Your Husband

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Looking for ways to deepen your connection with your husband? Take a look at this video that contains some meaningful questions that you can ask him to strengthen your connection and relationship.

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Reviewer Author Editor

Dr Nancy B IrwinPsyD

Sneha TeteBeauty & Lifestyle Writer

Asmita DeAssociate Editor