Man Vs. Woman After Break Up – 13 Vital Differences

A satisfying, committed relationship can boost confidence and bring great joy. But even the most beautiful relationships break at times, and the people involved experience a wave of emotions that leave them feeling overwhelmed and confused. Pain and grief are universal emotions, yet men and women process them differently due to differences in how their bodies are biologically wired. Every relationship requires a certain degree of understanding, compromise, and trust but there are times when these values are lost and a sense of betrayal sets in. This is when you realize that separation is imminent. It is easy to doubt the concept of “everything happens for a reason” in such a situation when everything you have worked for in nurturing a beautiful relationship comes to a halt. Moving on is often complicated and can be emotionally draining, but it is necessary to make progress. However, there are notable differences between how both sexes respond to such a loss. This article on how men and women handle breakups highlights differences between men’s and women’s coping mechanisms. Continue reading to discover more about these differences.

Man Vs. Woman After Break Up – 13 Differences You Must Know

Breakups are undoubtedly painful for everyone. However, men and women may experience, process, and react to heartbreak in different ways. In this article, we present information based on general patterns and societal perspectives on how men and women may respond to breakups. These differences are not universally applicable as several factors like personality, past experiences, cultural background, emotional resilience, and upbringing can also influence a person’s response to how they cope with a breakup. Thus, this article should not be used to make a broad assumption about a person’s behavior. Always remember that there is no one-size-fits-all approach when it comes to dealing with pain and getting over a breakup. Everyone’s breakup journey is different and healing may happen at its own pace. That said, let us look into the generalized perspectives on man vs. woman after a breakup.

1. Overcoming Pain After Break Up

Women tend to form a strong emotional connection with their partners, and this bond often deepens as the relationship grows.

In most cases, women are more actively involved in a relationship than men and experience severe emotional pain right after the breakup (1). However, women proactively respond to their feelings and gradually overcome the pain by finding ways to heal. Understanding what to do after a breakup can be crucial in this healing process. In contrast, men may refuse to feel their emotions until later, which is why they might not feel the pain initially. Consecutively, it takes them longer to acknowledge and overcome it.

2. Dealing With Stress

Both men and women experience inevitable stress after a breakup. However, men struggle more than women with managing their emotions because they tend to internalize them and show depressive symptoms (2). The void left by the breakup gets more significant as it’s easier to run from pain than to face it. Consequently, both personal and professional lives are impacted. On the other hand, women are more likely to feel their emotions and take action to get over them by communicating these feelings to their trusted circles and therefore getting over the post-breakup stress quicker than men.

3. Losing Self-Confidence

After a breakup, people tend to feel a loss of self-esteem. Irrespective of gender, people  with low self-esteem are more susceptible to distress and vulnerability after a breakup (3). Some may feel they have lost a part of themselves and start questioning who they are without their partners. They begin to feel less attractive and battle identity conflicts within themselves that make them feel that they aren’t good enough (4). Men, however, may start to battle these conflicts at the stage when they regret their decision and miss their partners, as they refrain from dealing with the emotional impact of the breakup for a long time.

4. Expressing Anger

Following a breakup, men experience more rage, frustration, and anger than women, which is likely a cover for underlying resentment, sadness, and other complicated feelings. They typically express their negative emotions through self-destructive behavior (2). In many cases, it can also extend and manifest into verbal threats and subtle forms of aggression, like social media trolling. All these actions stem from a feeling of powerlessness and an attempt to regain control and power. Women express their rage through emotional outbursts and wallowing in self-created negativity, and these behaviors are visible to their inner circle. It’s important for both to find healthy ways to express and work through their emotions. Engaging in activities like physical exercise, journaling, or creative hobbies can help channel aggression and rage safely and promote emotional healing.

5. Connecting With A Support System

While women are more likely to recognize relationship problems and find it simple to ask friends and family for emotional support, men find it difficult to ask for help. It is due to the stigmas associated with men expressing their emotions or being strong, which discourage them from asking for help when needed (4). They might not easily find a circle where they can talk freely about this either, unlike women who can cry their feelings out before girl gangs. However, both genders can benefit from building strong, trusted networks.

A relationship blogger shared her experience of dealing with a breakup and how her friends and her family were an incredible support to her. She said, “I also learned that I didn’t have to go through this alone. I reached out to my friends and family and talked to them about how I was feeling. Their support was like a safety net that caught me when I felt like I was falling apart. Surrounding yourself with people who care about you is so important during tough times (i).”

To strengthen your support system, reach out to close friends and create an environment where people can share their feelings without feeling judged for it. Foster a social network where vulnerability is not a sign of weakness but rather a sign of strength. Such a system can play a strong role in making the healing process smoother.

6. Rebound Relationships

In most cases, women might take extra time before entering into a rebound relationship. On the other hand, men tend to be more inclined to rebound relationships to distract themselves from the emotional pain after a breakup. Men may feel the urge to quickly refill the sense of loss left by the breakup. Entering a new relationship soon after a breakup can be interpreted by some men as evidence of their attractiveness or desirability. Often, these relationships do not have the depth or stability of long-term connections. It is possible that they are more concerned with providing quick emotional support than true, long-term compatibility.

Did You Know?

Moving on from a breakup can be difficult and is similar to getting over an addiction. It may trigger symptoms similar to drug withdrawal (5).

7. Dealing With The Stages Of Breakup

Although men may seem happy and carefree after a breakup, they are far from reality as they bottle up their feelings and do not confront the truth. For instance, the stages of a breakup for guys include feeling low on confidence, acting out in rage and anger, becoming overly socially active, suddenly realizing that the relationship is over, feeling the emotions, accepting the truth, and then hoping to date again. On the contrary, women process the loss by experiencing grief, denial, self-doubt, anger, realization, and eventually moving on.

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 8. Wanting To Get Back

Since men refuse to acknowledge their emotions during the initial stages, they are often ruled by a sense of relief and newfound freedom following a breakup. However, their desire to reconcile with their ex grows once that subsides. It also happens due to the realization of the void in their lives. Women also battle with these similar struggles, feelings of loneliness and longing. Still, in most cases, they rationalize their decision and stay away or are surrounded by a support system that helps them keep their distance. However, exceptions are always present and may lead to a path of reconciliation..

9. Timeframe For Healing

It was noted that emotional responses were expressed more by women than men.

As young adults, boys aren’t given the resources or the space to be vulnerable or show weakness. As a result, they grow up avoiding expressing or confronting their emotions. On the other hand, women are wired to feel and tend to emotional confrontations, making them move faster toward healing. Therefore, it is believed that women break up harder, but men break up longer when dealing with a breakup.

Quick Tip

Don’t isolate yourself if you’re going through a breakup; if the pain becomes too much to bear alone, talk to someone about it. Remember to also set aside some “me time” for yourself.

10. Getting Back To Dating

After a breakup, many men start dating immediately, not because they want a long-term relationship but just for the attention, the rush of flirting with a new person, and to avoid feeling lonely. As a result, men frequently end up having multiple “rebounds” with women. They perceive it as a simple fix for their damaged self-esteem. On the other hand, women are hesitant to fill the void left by a former partner because it requires an emotional connection or physical intimacy. However, women have casual or rebound relationships at a lower percentage than men (6).

11. Accepting Emotions

Society expects men to act tough. They are often seen as weak if they cry or show their vulnerability, which eventually leads them to bury their emotions. They struggle to accept the pain, rage, despair, and guilt that come with the breakup and often act rashly, enter denial mode, withdraw from social interactions, or put on a mask of courage. After a breakup, women are more emotional and grounded in reality, this allows some space for self-reflection and growth. Depending on how much effort the female makes to move on, the emotional ride begins intensely and then subsides.

Amélie, a blogger, recounts her personal experience with a breakup and how it affected her. She shares in her blog post, “As a lot of you know, my boyfriend broke up with me. People seem surprised at how well I have bounced back, but, in all honesty, this was one of the hardest experiences of my life.” She further states, “And when my boyfriend broke up with me, I really did think that it was the end of me. I didn’t want to accept it. I didn’t even think I could keep going. In fact, I decided not to keep going, but something inside me told me going home was a mistake. So I’ve been keeping going, or trying to, at least. (ii).”

Quick Tip

Remind yourself that feelings are normal and natural, and you don’t have to suppress or hide them.

12.  Choosing Partners

Although “breakup” and “hook up” are relatively new terms, many of our reactions and responses are simple biology.

According to a study, women’s effort in a romantic relationship is more significant than men’s, both physically and emotionally,  due to their involvement in pregnancy and childrearing (1). Men do not have to bear this particular biological cost, which is why women are pickier than men when choosing partners. Women naturally and unconsciously consider the future and make long-term decisions due to their high involvement in child-rearing, unlike most men, as they base their decisions more on the present than on the future.

13. Managing Social Media Interactions

Social media has significantly impacted relationships in the modern era. Its algorithms make the breakup-healing process more difficult, which frequently provides constant virtual reminders about your ex-partner, the places you were together, or the picture you took on an anniversary date. A study reveals that women are most likely to have a negative attitude toward their ex than men (7). Most women stop communicating with their ex-partners on social media, delete photos, unfriend, and even block them. In contrast, men may experience ambivalence in dealing with a breakup and remain emotionally attached to their ex for longer.

Key Takeaways

•  Both men and women have emotions but differ in expressing them.
• Men are more likely to feel the loss later and, therefore, need more time to recover from heartbreak fully and seek closure.
• After a breakup, women’s behavior and actions tend to favor faster healing, but men’s decisions make them flee from their emotions.
• Since women invest more time and energy into relationships, they tend to feel more hurt after the separation.

Infographic: 5 Ways Men And Women Navigate Heartbreak

No matter how we handle them, breakups are painful, lead to negative thoughts, and rob people of their joy. However, there are particular distinctions in how each gender responds to heartbreak. The differences can be seen from various perspectives in the healing or moving on phase. We have compiled a list of differences between men and women during the breakup and moving on stage. Check out the infographic below to learn more!

Illustration: StyleCraze Design Team

Frequently Asked Questions

How long does it take for a man to miss a woman after a breakup?

Men may not miss their women for a few weeks or months because they are initially relieved to be single and then realize they miss them. During this time, they also hide their emotions and view the breakup as a sign of weakness and failure.

Do guys or girls handle breakups better?

Though everyone grieves and handles life situations in their own way, women are emotionally and physically broken after a breakup. However, they quickly deal with it by facing the complicated emotional process and tend to emerge stronger.

Do breakups hit guys later?

Usually, yes. During the period right after the breakup, it’s common to see men taking up a new sport, traveling, or going online to search for love.

How can I support a friend going through a breakup?

Offer a listening ear and let them express their emotions without judgment. Encourage them to take care of themselves, and remind them that healing takes time.

What should I avoid doing after a breakup?

Avoid making impulsive decisions or reaching out to your ex for support or reconsideration. Give yourself space and time to process the breakup and focus on self-care instead of seeking temporary distractions.

Illustration: Man Vs. Woman After Break Up - 13 Vital Differences

Image: Stable Diffusion/StyleCraze Design Team

Explore the intriguing post-breakup differences between men and women by delving into their unique reactions. Watch this video to gain insights into the dynamics of moving on and healing.

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Hemali AdhiyaICF Certified Relationship Coach

     

Hemali is an ICF-Certified ACC Level Life Coach with 3 years of experience in relationship, marriage, and grief coaching. Her sessions aim to bring about transformation in her clients’ lives, perspectives, and relationships.

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Gracia Odile is a teacher-turned-beauty and lifestyle writer with three years of professional experience. She holds a bachelor’s degree in English from St. Stephen’s College, a Master’s in Anthropology from the University of Madras, and a degree in education from GGSIPU.

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