17 Most Important Things In A Relationship

The thought of losing that special person you love really puts perspective on the most important things in a relationship. Sometimes we fight with our partners for the silliest of reasons. Maybe they didn’t help you pick a color for the kitchen wall, or they forgot to compliment you on your new haircut. Some people eventually realize that there’s more to a partnership than just those things. But many couples don’t, and they allow these small arguments to ruin a beautiful relationship. Keep reading to understand the 17 most important things to focus on in a relationship and what you must let go of.

What Are The Most Important Things In A Relationship?

A healthy relationship is one where both partners feel respected and valued. It thrives on trust, open communication, and mutual support. Each person’s needs and feelings are acknowledged and addressed, fostering a balanced and nurturing environment. In such a relationship, both individuals work together to build a strong, lasting connection. Here are the aspects that can form a strong foundation for long-lasting relationships:

• Communication
• Trust
• Mutual Respect
• Loyalty
• Compromise
• Maintaining Independence
• Emotional Safety
• Happiness
• Teamwork
• Forgiveness
• Quality Time
• Emotional Availability
• Expressing Love
• Kindness
• Commitment
• Intimacy 
• Empathy

Let us explore each of these important factors in more detail to understand how they help build a strong and lasting relationship.

1. Open Communication

Open communication is the foundation of any successful relationship (1). Your significant other cannot read your mind (neither can anyone else). So, voicing your feelings, expectations, and needs is essential. Even if you are in the middle of a conflict, communication comes in handy to resolve conflicts and strengthen your bond. For instance, if you are having a heated argument with your spouse and say something disrespectful or hurtful, offer a sincere apology. Take accountability for your actions instead of leaving them unaddressed or allowing bitter feelings to linger. You can apologize by saying mindful statements like, “Sorry, I should have been more careful with my words”, or “I deeply regret saying that. It wasn’t my intention to hurt you.” This can help reduce the tension and emotional distance between you two. Without communication, you are creating resentment, piling up misunderstandings, and giving rise to bitterness. Be mindful of the fact that all these are fatal for any relationship.

2. Trust In Each Other

Having trust in a relationship signals longevity and permanence. However, if you lack this ingredient, it is not a healthy, secure, and stable relationship. The study highlighted that trust is an essential factor in having a successful romantic relationship. It helps to deepen intimacy and can positively influence relationship satisfaction. Further, it can even lower the risk of mortality. Thus, trust plays a key role in not only emotional well-being but physical well-being too (2). Trust can be built with time and grows stronger if you are both willing to work on having a healthy relationship and grow together. Show your dependability by keeping your promises and fulfilling your commitments. If you as a couple are expected to attend an important family event, make an effort to show up for it. However, if something urgent comes up, do inform your spouse with an apology. Like, “I know I promised to attend the gathering with you, but a last-minute meeting was scheduled and I am sorry about that.” This way, even if things do not go as planned, it can show your commitment to the relationship. It signifies that you care for your partner’s feelings and you choose to communicate rather than skip the event without informing them. You can’t make your love life exciting and fulfilling if the element of trust is missing.

3. Respecting Each Other

No matter how cliché it sounds, disrespecting your partner can fade the love too. Mutual respect is indeed one of the most important things in a relationship that keeps conflicts in check.

Love cannot be a justification for sacrificing your self-worth or disrespecting your partner. For a relationship to bloom and prosper, partners need to respect each other. You need to respect the differences and not impose your likes or dislikes on the other. The best way to strengthen your bond is to celebrate and respect the differences. Disrespecting each other only sprouts resentment and can damage any relationship.

Recognize and celebrate each other’s achievements, no matter how small. For instance, if your partner gets a promotion at work, take your time to acknowledge their hard work and dedication. You can say,” I am really proud of you, I know it wasn’t easy but you made it! You totally deserve this.” You can also show admiration by cooking their favorite meal to celebrate their moment and show your appreciation.

Acknowledging each other’s successes fosters mutual respect and strengthens the relationship.

4. Loyalty

Being unfaithful is probably the most detrimental thing to any relationship. Love that is coupled with loyalty is long-lasting and sacred. Loyalty is the building block of a relationship. If you want to make it work, then you have to commit to your partner. For instance, if you have a charming colleague at the office who tries to flirt with you, then you can demonstrate your loyalty by not giving in to temptation. Even if they have an outgoing nature or seem to have a more exciting personality than your partner. It is possible that your significant other is not as witty as your coworker or as extroverted as your ex, but there is a reason why you chose them over everyone else. This should be the basis for your unflinching loyalty. A relationship fails when you have a third person in the mix, regardless of whether you disclose that person’s identity or keep it under wraps from your partner.

5. Compromise

For a relationship to flourish, making compromises is essential for both individuals. Work on finding common ground between the both of you for your relationship to thrive. A successful relationship includes compromising from both ends as no one can always have it their way. For example, if your partner likes to spend their weekend at home and you like socializing or participating in outdoor activities, then you can find a way to balance both. On the weekend, you can spend quality time with your partner and join your friends for a few hours without compromising on your end. If you keep depriving your partner and consider only your needs, it can lead to resentment and even end your relationship.

6. Upholding Independence

As a couple, if you eat, breathe, live, and sleep together all the time, it is perfectly okay. However, having your own individual time is equally important. For instance, you can have a designated ‘me-time’ at home every day, or take a quiet evening walk alone to unwind and pursue your interests. When in a relationship, you should never lose yourself. Of course, you both may spark changes in each other, but you can always retain the charm and personality that makes you different and induce it in your relationship.

Quick Tip

Setting healthy boundaries in relationships may help reduce codependency. They create a sense of mutual respect and ensure individual well-being.

7. A Feeling Of Safety

The feeling that you are safe with your significant other makes it worthwhile to stay in a relationship. However, if your safety is questioned, all other emotions start failing, and your bond eventually crumbles. In a committed relationship, you have to keep up the sacred vow of protecting and loving your partner in all the circumstances of life. This feeling of safety extends to both physical and emotional safety. For instance, if someone teases your partner in public, stand up for them. This can show you care for them and are concerned about their safety.

8. Being Happy

The hustle and bustle of everyday life can lead to a slump in your relationship. So, finding ways to fill it with fun, excitement, and happiness is essential. For example, you can plan a spontaneous getaway or do something outside your routine like cooking a new dish together that can create an opportunity to learn, bond, laugh, and create beautiful memories. No relationship is sunshine and rainbows at all times, but ensuring that happier times overshadow unhappy ones is vital. Laughter brings two hearts together and can help balance out worries.

9. Being A Team

As much as you require personal space, staying strong together is vital too. A relationship requires you to wear different hats at various times. Sometimes you may have to listen to your partner patiently and offer support. At other times, you must offer unbiased, constructive criticism or a different perspective to help them make better, informed choices. Of course, there will be times when your partner will have to step into those roles for you as well. If your partner is better at managing repair works around the house, then you can support them by taking up other responsibilities like cleaning the house or preparing the meals. Your combined strengths compensate for each other’s weaknesses and help you work through challenging situations effectively. As different individuals, you have to team up together to work on your relationship.

10. Forgiveness

Forgiveness is a very important virtue, and nobody is perfect in this world. You may have a list of things you look for in a partner, but at the end of the day, to err is human and to forgive is divine. A study states that forgiveness in a relationship can help increase relationship satisfaction and is a key factor in maintaining healthy relationships. It reveals that the individuals who self-regulate themselves inhibit the tendency to damage their relationship by not indulging in negative behavior such as berating or avoiding the partner (3). If a sincere heart makes an apology and works on doing things differently, learn to forgive and move on. For instance, if your partner forgets your wedding anniversary and later apologizes to you sincerely, then you can say, ” I can see how bad you feel about missing the date, I am willing to forgive you. Let’s now plan something special to celebrate our togetherness.” There might be some mistakes that can impact the relationship severely, but you can work on everything. If you and your partner want to put those mistakes behind you and work on rebuilding the relationship, both of you must be able to forgive each other before you can move forward.

11. Spending Quality Time Together

How do two strangers become inseparable and end up totally in love? Well, it is all about spending quality time with each other and prioritizing your relationship. The time spent together helps to know your partner better. It opens communication channels and helps in building your friendship and fostering trust for each other. It can be a small task like taking a walk together or watching the sun rise over a steaming hot cup of tea in the mornings, but it can do wonders for your relationship.

12. Be Emotionally Available

As much as a relationship is all about love and happiness, it is also about being emotionally available for your partner in trying times. Lend your ear when your partner wants to be heard about their emotional challenges. Being insensitive to their emotions and staying consumed in your own world will leave a void that can tempt your partner to fill it with a third party. Listening to and validating your partner’s feelings will bring you closer and make you stronger as a couple. For instance, if your partner feels stressed at work, instead of offering solutions immediately, offer support by saying something like, “I know you are feeling overwhelmed with what’s going on, I am here to listen to you.” By acknowledging their emotions, you can make them feel heard and supported.

13. Express Love

Who doesn’t want to be told that they are the most special and important person in their partner’s life over and over again? Don’t ever take your significant other for granted. Voice your feelings of love and admiration to let them know how much they mean to you. For instance, if your partner makes you a cup of coffee after a long, exhausting day, acknowledge and thank them for their thoughtful gesture. You can say, “That’s so sweet of you. You really know how to make me feel special.” This will also maximize your opportunities to receive love.

14. Be Kind

The small acts of kindness you do for your partner might look trivial but will stay in their heart forever. For example, you can offer them to buy groceries or do the dishes if they are feeling a bit under the weather. Through these little gestures, you can let your partner know that you care about them and that you always have their back. And rest assured that they will go out of their way to reciprocate these kind deeds in their own way to make you feel special. This lays the foundation for a strong relationship.

Quick Tip

Pay attention to how you refer to your partner in front of others. Be kind with your words, speak positively about them, and compliment them to brighten their day

15. Commit To Success

Every relationship is a two-way street, and it takes two people to commit to each other to make it work. A study reveals that commitment signifies the desire to be together in the future. It also highlights that if an individual is convinced that a relationship is going to last for a long term, then they tend to behave in a way that not only benefits them but also helps to enhance the quality of the relationship (4). If you are invested in your relationship, it has a better chance of surviving hardships. Every relationship comes with its share of challenges, and the ones that survive the onslaught of time have commitment as the basic ingredient.

For instance, if your partner has got a job in a new place and is moving cities or countries, then you can both show your commitment by staying connected through video calls, checking up on each other, and planning regular visits. This can show your dedication and willingness to keep the relationship strong and secure.

16. Intimacy

There are various types of intimacy, and they are all equally as important as physical intimacy in a long-term relationship. Physical intimacy includes physical expressions of affection like hugs, cuddles, kisses, and sex, all of which create a feeling of closeness. Additionally, emotional intimacy involves sharing the deep emotions, ideas, opinions, and engaging in shared experiences and spiritual aspects of life. A healthy intimate couple has a better sexual life, greater satisfaction level, and better physical and mental health. A study highlights that intimacy behaviors (physical touch and emotional closeness) can help improve both sexual and relationship satisfaction. It also stated that couples that tend to have higher sexual and relationship satisfaction were more likely to engage in intimacy behaviors, creating a positive cycle (5).

17. Empathy

Mutual empathy is a powerful force that is a precursor to intimacy and trust. It is the ability to understand and relate to each other. It helps you see situations from the other person’s perspective, and understand the positive side of things. This improves cooperation, compromise and forgiveness, thus strengthening the relationship. For instance, if your partner is grieving the loss of a loved one, you can provide them comfort by not only offering words of solace but by sitting with them to show that you are there for them. Practicing empathy can increase relationship satisfaction and reduce conflicts. Thus, it is one of the most important things in a relationship that may become the ultimate sign that your relationship will last forever. A study highlights that empathy, both positive (sharing joy and happiness) and negative (sharing sadness and pain) can help to foster a strong and more satisfying relationship. It also helps to strengthen emotional bonds and deepen the connection (6).

Key Takeaways

• A relationship is much more than complimenting your partner’s new haircut or helping them pick a dress.
• Open communication, trust, and compromise are a few of the most important things you need in a partnership.
• You need to invest time and effort and work things out together to keep your love alive.

Infographic: 6 Essentials For A Successful Relationship

Our relationships are one of the most challenging and gratifying aspects of our lives. Love is a fantastic experience. But unlike what many people think, love is not everything. Love alone won’t keep a couple together since relationships require much more than love to sustain them. Successful relationships need a lot of work to maintain both partners’ happiness and well-being. Check out the infographic below to learn the 6 factors that are more crucial to a successful relationship than love.

Illustration: StyleCraze Design Team

Frequently Asked Questions

What keeps most couples together?

Maintaining healthy boundaries, open communication, and balancing busy schedules and priorities to find time for each other are some factors that keep couples together. These are some of the qualities of a healthy relationship.

What kills a relationship faster?

Lack of intimacy, unrealistic expectations, abusive behavior, and suppression of emotions can kill a relationship faster.

How can I improve communication with my partner in a relationship?

Listening actively, replacing negative communication patterns like criticism, defensiveness, and stonewalling with appreciation, validation, and empathy, trying to understand your partner’s perspective, and making time for the partner and striking meaningful conversations away from distractions and technology can help improve communication in a relationship.

What are some effective ways to resolve conflicts in a relationship?

Communicating clearly and respectfully, finding solutions together, being willing to make compromises, taking responsibility for your actions, and apologizing sincerely can help resolve conflicts effectively and healthily in a relationship.

How can I maintain trust and honesty in a relationship?

Being open and transparent about everything, respecting your partner’s boundaries and privacy, and forgiving and moving on from past mistakes are keys to maintaining trust and honesty in a relationship.

Discover the 5 most important factors in a successful relationship from the video below. Learn how to build trust and establish an understanding in a relationship.

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Stephanie MintzMA (Clinical Psychology), LMFT

Known internationally as The Strategic Relationship Consultant™, Stephanie Mintz, MA, LMFT, provides individuals and couples with actionable strategies to reach their relationship goals. She has 8 years of experience and is highly sought-after for her ability to help individuals and couples at all stages of relationships, from dating, living together, pre-engagement, pre-marital, and just married to marriage strengthening/difficulties, brink of divorce, and post-divorce.

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Sneha TeteBeauty & Lifestyle Writer

 

Sneha has a master's degree in Applied Linguistics from the University of Hyderabad, a professional Relationship Coach diploma, and over four years of experience in writing. She writes about relationships and lifestyle.Sneha began her career as an instructional designer, shifted to freelance technical and research writing, and self-published a novella on the theme of adolescent mental health.

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Shatabdi BhattacharyaAssociate Editor

Shatabdi is an associate editor and an alumnus of Lady Brabourne College, Kolkata, where she honed her skills and developed a deep understanding of the world of literature and expression. She has worked with various organizations and websites operating in different industries, ranging from education to lifestyle, showing her adaptability and drive to learn.

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Gazala Firdos AnsariBeauty & Lifestyle Writer

Gazala Ansari is a beauty and lifestyle writer with two years of experience. She writes on relationships, makeup, and lifestyle and has bachelor's and master's degrees in English literature from the Central University of Jharkhand.

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