14 Rules Of Platonic Friendship And Love
The key is to maintain your boundaries through open and honest communication.
Sharon Gilchrest O'Neill is a licensed Marriage & Family Therapist and Family Business Consultant with over 30 years of experience. She holds degrees in Marriage & Family Therapy, Organizational Psychology, and Developmental Psychology. An early, inspiring career experience as part of the group of professionals who founded the first freestanding hospice in the United States paved the way for her uncanny ability to listen, brainstorm, and inspire hope in others.
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Experience: 4 yearsSneha has a master's degree in Applied Linguistics from the University of Hyderabad, a professional Relationship Coach diploma, and over four years of experience in writing. She writes about relationships and lifestyle.Sneha began her career as an instructional designer, shifted to freelance technical and research writing, and self-published a novella on the theme of adolescent mental health.
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Experience: 4 yearsSubhrojyoti is an associate editor at StyleCraze with four years of experience. He has a master’s degree in English from Presidency University, Kolkata, and has also done a post-graduate certificate course in Editing and Publishing from Jadavpur University, Kolkata.
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We cherish friendship, and it is even more precious when it involves the opposite gender. All you need to do to maintain a healthy bond is follow the rules of platonic friendship!
What is a platonic relationship or a platonic friendship? Platonic relationship or platonic friendship, meaning a strong and affectionate relationship between two individuals.
Opening yourself up to the other gender helps you evolve and allows you to gain insight into their lives. But there are also drawbacks. For example, there is a fine line between enjoying a platonic relationship and falling in love with someone. You need to stay aware if such feelings begin to develop and recognize that you will ruin your friendship if you act on your feelings. You will feel lost and confused. Don’t worry; we will tell you how to avoid this!
Keep your platonic friendship and love pure and strong forever by following these 14 simple rules. Keep reading!
In This Article
Rules Of Platonic Friendship
Platonic friendships are built on a foundation of trust, understanding, and mutual support. If you want to maintain a healthy platonic friendship, it is important to follow some rules. Here are the rules of platonic friendship.
1. Don’t Ever Flirt With A Friend
Flirting may seem harmless, but it can do a lot of harm. If you value the friendship you both have, don’t send “the” signals just to get some attention and feel good about yourself. Two things may happen – he may get scared that this is turning into something else and bolt, or he may reciprocate. The latter is fine, but only if you both feel that the relationship could grow into something more – if not, well, you will lose a friend.
2. Establish Boundaries
Understanding the importance of setting clear boundaries in relationships is crucial to ensuring that both parties feel secure and valued. There are certain things that need to be kept clear in a platonic relationship. Knowing where to stop yourself is important. Avoiding situations that can ignite passion is where establishing boundaries is of great help. Avoiding sleeping over at your buddy’s place or getting drunk at a late-night party you attended with them can save you both from breaking the rules of a platonic relationship.
Quick Tip3. Be Respectful To His Partner, As Well As Yours
First things first, being respectful toward his partner is of utmost importance. Otherwise, things can get really messy in your relationship with your platonic friend. Also, showing gestures of respect toward your own partner in front of your platonic friend is helpful in strengthening your bond. At the same time, it is important for you to make it comfortable for your friend to be together with your partner.
4. No Sexual Contact
This is a no-brainer. If he is your friend, he is your friend. You shouldn’t get touchy-feely with him. This is something your friendship can never recover from. The most important rule of platonic friendship and love is this – sexual acts will ruin the friendship, and there is no getting back together! You need to either move on to a romantic relationship or break up as friends. If you feel that there is sexual tension between you guys, sit down and think about it. Are a few moments of passion worth giving up the friendship? You will know the answer.
Quick Tip5. No Date-Like Hangouts. Ever.
Should you really be going on long drives, giving each other gifts, and going on candle-lit dinners together if you are just best friends? No, no, and no. These are things people in relationships or people planning to get into one do. If you are just friends, hang out together at arcades and cafes, especially with your other buddies. Keep the intentions clear. There should be no inclination of doing something romantic together because it is NOT meant to be romantic in any way whatsoever.
6. Treat Him The Same As Your Girlfriends
So what if he is a boy? You don’t have to behave any differently around him! You don’t put makeup on when your girl buds come over, do you? Stick to the same rules. No dressing up for him, no taking care and doing special things for him, no going out of your way to be nice to him. You are his buddy, a shoulder to cry on, and therapist, all rolled into one. Keep it that way. Enjoy this beautiful friendship without dragging the mess of sex/romance into it.
7. Don’t Play Games To Get Him To Be With You
It not only comes across as desperate but is also plain silly. In fact, if he gets even the slightest idea that this is what you are doing, he is going to disappear very quickly. Such girls hardly get any respect. Keep things clear and simple. You are not a child, and he is not a fool. You are deceiving nobody. Playing the “Let’s make him jealous” or the “Shower him with attention and gifts” game can backfire on you big time.
8. Don’t Get Drunk And Cozy With Him
Getting drunk is fine, getting cozy is not. You guys can, of course, go partying together along with your other friends, but don’t turn it into an “I was so drunk I didn’t know what I was doing” kind of night. It will not only be embarrassing the next day but also prompt others to make inappropriate comments about the two of you, which will affect you both in the long term. When in a platonic friendship with someone, make sure that the relationship you both share inspires respect, not ridicule.
9. Never Plan Vacations Together With Just Him And You
Vacations are not only stressful and take a toll on your relationship, but also create situations in which you both can get too intimate. Of course, this doesn’t apply for group vacations in which the entire gang goes somewhere. If you both go on vacations just by yourselves, you are setting up your friendship to fail.
10. Introduce Him To Family And Friends
Introducing him to your family and friends makes it clear that he is your buddy, nothing more, almost like a bro. This makes the message loud and clear – you love him enough to introduce him to your loved ones. He will be perceived more like a sibling than a love interest, and that’s how it should be.
11. Do Not Allow Your Other Friends To Tease You About Him
All that teasing, though harmless, can create unrealistic expectations. You may start developing feelings for him, which may not get reciprocated, thus breaking your heart. You will never be able to have a straight conversation with him without double-checking everything you say. If your friends are teasing you about your platonic friend, tell them you don’t appreciate that kind of joking. If they continue doing so, just ignore, and don’t react to them.
12. Don’t Do Couple-y Things Together
There are so many things that scream “boyfriend-girlfriend,” like gifting flowers, spending Valentine’s Day together, getting soft toys, and giving each other candies and chocolates. These little acts can be misconstrued as something else. These should be reserved for your significant other and not your platonic friend. Avoid gifting stuff except on birthdays and such important events and keep the “I am thinking of you” vibes to yourself if you want this friendship to flourish and grow stronger.
13. Acknowledge Your Feelings If You Have Them, But Don’t Act On Them
It can be really difficult to keep your heart in check if you fall for your best guy friend. But, it is not necessary that just because you have a little crush on him, you jeopardize the entire friendship you both have built together. Of course, if he is also showing signs that he is into you, you can both go forward with a romantic relationship.
Be cautious about putting your friendship at stake. In fact, if you are really close buddies, you can drop him subtle hints to see how he responds. If he HAHAs it away, gather your pride and move on.
14. Don’t Share Private Stuff With Them, Especially About Your Boyfriend
This might be especially difficult if you guys were friends before you got together with your significant other. But, set your priorities straight. It will hurt your boyfriend immensely if he gets to know that you have been discussing him with another guy. Also, it will create unnecessary conflict between both of them and ruin any chances of friendship they may have in the future. Keep your private life private and maintain proper boundaries.
A platonic relationship is characterized by a deep level of care, respect, and commitment. There are a number of other features and behaviors that can be indicative of a strong and romantic relationship. Learn more below.
Some Common Signs Of A Strong Platonic Friendship
- Open Communication: You both are comfortable having a conversation about anything. It is like you know each other like the back of your hand. You can call each other out without negatively affecting the bond you share.
- Emotional Intimacy: You both have the capacity to be open and vulnerable with one another, as well as the ability to empathize and provide emotional support without any judgment.
- Mutual Respect: You support each other’s goals, opinions, decisions, and overall well-being. You also respect each other’s boundaries, even if it means not talking to each other for a while.
- Dependable Trust: You both share a strong foundation of trust and security that provides a sense of dependability and reliability in the relationship.
We get it. You might wonder that it pretty much sounds like a romantic relationship, minus physical intimacy. However, it also comes without the mess of a relationship, especially if you are not ready to commit or think of your platonic friend as more of a sibling than a potential romantic partner. There can be more benefits to this platonic bond. Let us now go over them in the next section.
Benefits Of Platonic Friendship
Platonic friendships offer a unique form of connection. These relationships are free from romantic expectations. They allow for a deep bond based purely on trust, respect, and shared interests. Here are some key benefits of platonic friendships.
1. Unconditional Acceptance
There is no pressure to meet romantic or sexual expectations in a platonic friendship. This type of acceptance builds self-confidence and comfort.
2. Improved Mental Health
Research shows that strong friendships contribute to improved mental health (1). A platonic friendship offers consistent companionship, enhancing happiness.
3. Balanced Perspectives
Friends can offer honest, unbiased opinions and feedback. This balanced perspective helps in problem-solving and personal growth.
4. Lifelong Companionship
Platonic friendships are often long-lasting, as they are not influenced by the ups and downs of romantic relationships. This stability can provide a sense of security and lifelong companionship.
5. Personal Growth
Platonic friends encourage each other to grow, explore new interests, and pursue goals. These relationships often push you out of your comfort zone in a positive way.
Platonic friendships can improve mental health and encourage personal growth, making them an invaluable aspect of life. Here are some signs of a strong platonic friendship.
Infographic: 5 Rules To Secure Your Platonic Relationship
Some relationships thrive platonically. But we are human, and sometimes romantic feelings may seep into our friendship. There are two options in this situation: pursue a romantic relationship or communicate effectively outside it.
If you want to keep your bond with platonic friends strong and secure and avoid the risk of getting romantically involved, check out the infographic below. Illustration: StyleCraze Design Team
These are the key “rules” you need to know to keep your platonic friendship intact forever. If you have something wonderful, treasure it. Boyfriends come and go, but friends are forever. Spend your best times with them and make beautiful memories that you will cherish when you are older.
Frequently Asked Questions
Can platonic friendships evolve into romantic relationships?
Yes. While platonic friendships are non-romantic, feelings can develop. It is essential for both sides to communicate openly about feelings to ensure stability in the connection.
How much physical contact is appropriate in a platonic friendship?
Physical intimacy in platonic friendships can include things like hugging, friendly punches, high-fives or fist bumps, and giving cheek or forehead kisses.
What are the signs that a platonic friendship is turning into something more?
There are a few signs you can look for if you feel like your platonic friendship is turning into something more, such as, you always picture them in your future, get jealous when they interact with the opposite gender, you initiate physical contact often, and share every news and personal details with them.
Key Takeaways
- Always set boundaries, and avoid sleepovers or getting drunk late at night.
- Hang out, but never go on exclusive dates.
- Always act as a friend; do not treat them like your girlfriend or boyfriend.
- Never make romantic gestures, like spending Valentine’s Day with them.
Illustration: Rules Of Platonic Friendship And Love
Image: Stable Diffusion/StyleCraze Design Team
It is better to set rules in a platonic relationship if you don’t want to ruin it. Check this video to get tips on how to maintain such a relationship.
References
Articles on StyleCraze are backed by verified information from peer-reviewed and academic research papers, reputed organizations, research institutions, and medical associations to ensure accuracy and relevance. Read our editorial policy to learn more.
- Adult friendship and wellbeing: A systematic review with practical implications
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9902704/
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