17 Signs He Is Seeing Someone Else

A shattered heart is hard to mend. If you can relate to this statement, you know how much it aches when the person you love is secretly dating someone else. If you feel your partner’s strange behaviors are signs he is seeing someone else, you may have to look out for hints rather than go with your intuition. There may be chances that he is in love with someone else, or it may not even be what you think.

The first step is recognizing the signs of infidelity. Whether you suspect your partner is seeing someone else or just want to understand potential changes in his behavior, this article may help you assess your relationship. So, before arriving at any conclusion, read on to check for these subtle hints!

How To Recognise The Signs Of Infidelity?

If you are reading this article, chances are high that you think your partner is cheating, but are not completely sure of it. There are some clear cut signs that let you know your partner is being unfaithful. Some men may emotionally distance themselves from their partners while others may suddenly seem a tad too attentive. Does he hide his phone when you walk into the room? Has he suddenly been staying over late at work in the night? These signs help determine if your partner is actually seeing someone else or not.

While these changes might make you suspicious, it’s important to know that infidelity is more common than many think. A study published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine found that 13% to 37% of people in committed relationships admit to having sexual relationships outside their partnership. The numbers are even higher, including emotional or online affairs (1).

This article lists out 17 clear signs that he may be cheating on you with someone. Scroll down to check them out!

17 Signs He Is Seeing Someone Else

1. He Does Not Contact You As Much Anymore

Phone calls, texts, or even those cute selfies never make their way to your phone anymore. Irrespective of your relationship status (dating or married), he might be seeing someone else if he does not have time for you anymore. You may notice a decline in the times he speaks to you and the number of times he reaches out. Even going out on dates is a rare occasion now. This is a sign that he may be talking to another girl.

2. He Does Not Want You To Meet His Friends

Friends are usually the first point of contact you have with your man. If he is too reluctant to let you meet his friends, it may be a sign he is talking to another girl or that he may even have a girlfriend. For instance, if you ask to join him at a gathering and he suddenly becomes evasive, saying things like “It’s just a guy’s night” or “You wouldn’t have fun anyway,” it could be a sign he is trying to keep you out of his social circle.

Friends are usually an excellent litmus test for knowing a man, and if you have been together for a while (or hope to be), he should take you to meet his friends. It is a sign that he is letting you into his life. If he is reluctant to do so, it may be because he is unsure about you or because he wants to keep his options open.

3. He Spends Too Much Time On His Phone

Has your man started carrying his phone around a little too protectively? Has he changed his social media password? Is he being sneaky with the calls he receives during odd hours? Does he frequently check his phone while on a date with you? Or maybe he is constantly texting and messaging when his attention should be solely focused on you.

You can explain it as work commitments or other things he sometimes has no control over in some cases. But if this behavior is consistent, and there is no apparent reason behind it, it may be because he is engaging with other women while still in a relationship with you. Dishonesty and betrayal can take many different forms, such as hiding his phone or keeping his whereabouts a secret.

Quick Tip

Instead of trying to check his phone secretly, confront him with confidence. Do not invade his privacy in the process.

4. He Has New Grooming Routines

This is one of the telltale signs that your partner is actively seeking another woman. Have you noticed any changes in his grooming routine? For instance, he might have taken up gym membership (when he used to hate exercising) or has been mindful about the way he looks.

Everyone likes to switch things up once in a while. However, if your partner has suddenly overhauled his entire bathroom shelf or begun focusing a lot on his appearance without any reason – there could be a cause for concern. If this is not the case, you should keep a cautious eye out for more such signs.

5. He Does Not Want To Talk About The Future

If you have been together for a while, the future can be a big point of discussion. However, if he does not want to discuss the future and seems unsure about it for no apparent reason, there might be some cause for concern. Even conversations about your plans next week become too much for him, and he may complain that you overthink too much.

He may change topics, divert discussions about the future, or ignore any attempts of such talks. Avoidance like this stands out, especially if he has been open in the past but closed off recently. This can be a big sign that he is interested in someone else and does not have as much fondness for you anymore.

6. He Checks Out Other Women

Whether you have just started dating or have been in a relationship for long, this is one of the most blatant red flags to look out for. An unignorable sign that a man is not interested in you anymore is that he lets his gaze run free even when he is with you.

He watches waitresses walk away, unabashedly turns his head to look at women passing him by, and does not hesitate to stare down at other women – all these signs show his disrespect towards you and the relationship. Though some can dismiss this as a case of human tendencies, if this happens consistently, it can be a sign that he is wandering. Letting this red flag go could actually affect your mental health too. It is not uncommon to feel jealousy in these situations, especially if you notice a change in his behavior.

7. There Is A “Girl-Bestfriend”

Everyone has seen her and felt the same thing you are feeling about her. She is a bit too close to your partner, and he claims nothing is going on, and it is a pure bond of friendship. You want to believe it, too, but should you?

If there is an increased closeness (both physical and mental) between the two without any verifiable reason, you may want to consider looking into it. They spend too much time together, to the extent that he often ends up canceling on you, does not give you time, and always speaks about her. This is a meaningful indicator that your partner might be drifting away and someone else may be closer than you think.

Quick Tip

If there is a “girl-best friend”, tell him that she makes you uncomfortable. If he is seeing the woman, you can decide for your relationship accordingly. But do not involve the other woman because you still don’t know if she is at fault.

8. He Does Not Call You His Significant Other

Gone are the days of “darling,” “sweetheart,” or “beautiful.” Now, you are lucky if he calls you even by your name anymore. If he does not refer to you as his significant other or someone he values romantically, the chances are that there is another fair lady at the end of his attention.

Worse yet, it may be a sign that he has a girlfriend already. On several forums, such as Reddit and Discord, women have mentioned that not referring to you as his significant other is a red flag, especially around his family and friends. He wishes to distance himself from your relationship and unconsciously reminds himself that you are not the only woman in his life. Make sure you keep an eye out for such behavior.

9. He Has No Time For You

Wanting to spend time with your partner is one of the most natural things to wish for. However, he seems not to feel the same way anymore and does not wish to engage with you emotionally or physically anymore.

Dates get canceled, video calls get halted midway because of “bad network,” and work has become so extensive that he does not even have time for a good night text anymore. It may be an obvious indicator of his infidelity, or at the very least, a sign that he is attracted to other women.

10. He is Overly Defensive

They say it is not a situation that defines you but how you react to it. There are hardly more considerable signs that he is seeing someone else than a man who gets too defensive. Do completely innocent questions make him boil with rage? Does he shout when you ask him anything? Does he accuse you of being unfaithful to him when you question him? If yes, you might want to take a deeper look into his life.

If he becomes defensive when you ask inquiries, your mistrust in him is bound to increase. He may be projecting his adulterous tendencies onto you, and as a result, turning on to you because he feels threatened or cornered. In short, if he is too defensive, it is often a clear sign he is hiding something big. Alternatively, he may shut down entirely and refuse to speak about anything unrelated to you.

11. He Compares You With Others

Don’t you love it when your partner sees the stars in your eyes and treats you like the only woman in the world? But if you notice that this is not the case with you anymore, it may be a sign he is attracted to someone else and is now holding you to their standards.

He criticizes how you look, behaves strangely, and maybe tries to push you away emotionally. He also holds you to an unrealistic standard that did not seem to exist before, and it is a clear sign of disloyalty.

12. His Mood Swings Are Through The Roof

One of the primary reasons a person experiences mood swings is stress, lack of sleep or nutrition, burnout, or simple exhaustion. If your partner has been experiencing this lately, the chances are what they appear to be: a man who needs a good night’s sleep.

However, if all seems usual in his life and he is still very moody, it might be a sign he is interested in other women and does not wish to be with you anymore. Your partner may feel shame, anger, and guilt inside, which manifests as negative feelings and behavior. He may even feel anxious due to the constant fear of getting caught. This is especially true if you have been in a committed relationship.

13. His Stories Do Not Add Up

Can’t figure out how to tell if your spouse is lying? There will be many situations where the stories don’t add up. Was it a work meeting that kept him away last week? Or was it a weekend night out with his friends? Every time you ask him, you get a different answer. If so, this is a sign that he is hiding something (probably an affair). Deception appears to be afoot!

This phenomenon is called cognitive dissonance. It is a situation when the brain struggles to align two different lines of thought. As a result, the person keeps changing the narrative, resulting in half-baked lies.

14. You Fight More Often

If he is involved with someone else, he may feel that he is trapped with you. In such a case, he may start to pick fights on minor things.

Forgot to wash the dishes? Didn’t answer his call fast enough? These things, which should ideally not even be points of discussion, can become significant issues. You may drain yourself emotionally and mentally fighting with him over minor topics like this. He may do this to take out his frustration on you or as an attempt to shift blame away from him.

15. You May Get Showered With Gifts

Has he become overly loving and caring for no apparent reason? Has he started to shower you with gifts? He may be feeling guilty about being unfaithful towards you and is making up for it through gifts and affection.

Though he will still not have time for you, he will make up for it by being extravagantly generous when you do meet. Your wishes are his command, and he will stop at nothing to get you what you want, as long as it does not interfere with his infidelity.

16. He Will Avoid Certain Places

No matter how secretive people try to keep things, someone is bound to notice. It could be a mutual friend, a relative, or an acquaintance. Regardless, there are always people around who could spot your partner with someone who is not you.

In such a case, the most natural defense is to avoid all places where people have seen him with another woman. He may now avoid your favorite bars, restaurants, parks, and clubs like the plague and find new, secluded places for you both to go instead. A change in choice is acceptable, even expected, but too many rapid changes are something to keep an eye out for.

17. He Seems Interested Only In Sex

If a partner seems primarily interested in sexual encounters, it could be a sign they are involved with someone else. Their focus on physical intimacy rather than emotional connection might indicate divided attention. They could exhibit behaviors like sudden unavailability, secretive actions, or avoiding discussions about the future of the relationship. Increased emphasis on sexual aspects while neglecting emotional bonding might suggest they are fulfilling emotional needs elsewhere. Open communication about your concerns is essential to clarify the relationship’s status and your expectations, allowing both parties to address their issues honestly and transparently.

One of the biggest signs of infidelity is emotional detachment, which often leads to secrecy and changes in behavior. Cheating partners often try to distance themselves from their other halves as a way to justify their actions or keep their partners from learning about their infidelity. Detecting the signs of emotional distancing and having an honest conversation can help come to a conclusion. Learn more in the section below!

What Are The Signs Of Emotional Distancing?

Often, emotional distance can be just as clear as physical signs of infidelity. Look for changes in how your partner communicates, their willingness to share feelings, or an increase in arguments. These behavioral shifts can indicate that your partner is not emotionally invested in the relationship as they once were. A study exploring love and infidelity, published in the International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, suggests that emotional distancing can lead to emotional infidelity, which causes significant distress, anger, and feelings of betrayal for the affected partner. In some cases, emotional infidelity can be just as painful as physical cheating, triggering intense jealousy and insecurity (2).

Here are some signs of emotional distancing:

• Lack Of Communication: Conversations become infrequent or shallow, with little effort to share thoughts or feelings.
• Reduced Affection: Physical touch, compliments, and emotional gestures become rare or absent.
• Avoidance Of Conflict: Your partner avoids addressing issues, preferring to withdraw rather than engage in discussions.
• Increased Independence: Spending more time alone or with others rather than you, prioritizing solo activities over shared experiences.
• Diminished Interest: A lack of curiosity or concern about each other’s life, including personal achievements, challenges, or emotions.
• Emotional Unavailability: They seem distant, cold, or indifferent, offering little emotional support or connection.
• Feeling Unseen Or Unheard: A sense that your feelings, opinions, or presence are no longer valued or acknowledged.
• Frequent Distractions: They are suddenly spending more time at work, with their hobbies, or looking at their phone to avoid spending quality time together.

In this day and age, nothing can be hidden thanks to social media. Many people have found out that their partners are cheating because the latter either have a secret account or limit the former’s ability to view their account completely. Learn how social media secrecy can tell you if your partner may be hiding something from you.

What Are The Signs Of Social Media Secrecy?

In today’s age, social media behavior can reveal a lot about a relationship. Pay attention to how they interact online and whether they include you in their social media life. Here are some signs to check out:

• Frequently hiding their phone or computer screen when you are nearby can indicate secretive behavior.
• Sudden changes to social media passwords and a refusal to share them with you may be a sign of infidelity.
• Acting defensive or anxious when asked about social media activities or accounts.
• Spending excessive time on social media, especially late at night or during private moments, without explaining the reason.
• Regularly deleting conversations, messages, or browser history to prevent you from seeing them.
• Maintaining secret or additional social media accounts that you are unaware of.
• Frequent interactions with unknown contacts or sudden engagement with new people without offering an explanation.
• Disabling notifications to prevent messages from popping up on the screen where they can be seen by you.
• Reacting defensively or aggressively when questioned about social media habits or interactions.
• Refusing to share social media profiles or avoiding joint activities online, like posting pictures or acknowledging the relationship.

If you observe any of these above-stated signs and are worried about infidelity in your relationship, it is important to approach the situation with care. Here are some steps to help guide you through it.

Tips To Handle Infidelity In A Relationship

1. Take a moment to think about the root of your concerns. Is your suspicion based on specific actions, or are they more about your insecurities?
2. Be vocal about your concerns and express them calmly. Listen to their side of the story. Avoid blaming or accusing, as this can make things worse.
3. If talking is tough or you are not getting anywhere, go for couples counseling. A counselor offers a neutral space to work through feelings and understand the deeper issues in your relationship.
4. If you’re feeling emotionally overwhelmed, consider individual therapy, as it might help you sort through your feelings and manage the stress.
5. Once you’ve had the conversation and reflected on everything, think about what you need to do to move forward. This could mean setting new boundaries or deciding if it’s time to move on.

Infographic: 7 Tell-Tale Signs That You Are Not His Only One

There is intuition, and then there are signs that your partner is being unfaithful. While it could be hard to tell your intuition from your fear and insecurities, signs do not lie— especially a few, in particular. Check out the infographic to learn about the tell-tale signs of a man who is seeing someone else but trying to hide it.

Illustration: StyleCraze Design Team

Frequently Asked Questions

How do you know if a guy is pretending to love you?

Some of the ways to know that a guy is pretending to be in love with you are:
• They don’t prioritize you.
• They keep the relationship a secret
• They avoid discussing the future with you.
• They gaslight you.

Is he busy or losing interest?

If a guy is just busy, he will keep you updated about his life, try to see you whenever he can, and contact you whenever he gets some free time. On the other hand, an uninterested guy will not take the initiative to meet or contact you and will be vague about why he is busy.

Is he serious about me or just playing?

A guy who is serious about you, he will try to see you often, respect your opinion, make you meet his friends and family, and be willing to compromise and communicate effectively. But, if he is playing you, he won’t share his emotions with you, may prioritize sexual intimacy, and lie about many things.

Can a guy distance himself if he likes you?

Yes. A guy may distance himself from you even though he likes you if he thinks you are out of his league, he is already in a committed relationship, he is shy, he wants to take it slow, or he needs time to be sure of his feelings.

How should I confront my partner if I suspect infidelity?

It is very important to approach the conversation calmly. Express your feelings without accusations. Focus only on your observations and concerns. Open communication is the key to understanding the situation and deciding on the next steps, whether it involves rebuilding trust or seeking closure.

Are you worried that your boyfriend might be cheating on you? Take a look at these 15 eye-opening signs to gain greater clarity about your situation and see things as they are.

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Reviewer Author Editor Fact Checker

Sarah KenvilleMA (Marriage and Family Therapy)

   

Sarah Kenville has a master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy and a law degree. She has 8 years of experience and offers premarital counseling and relationship coaching to dating, engaged, newlywed, and same-sex couples.

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Sneha TeteBeauty & Lifestyle Writer

 

Sneha has a master's degree in Applied Linguistics from the University of Hyderabad, a professional Relationship Coach diploma, and over four years of experience in writing. She writes about relationships and lifestyle.Sneha began her career as an instructional designer, shifted to freelance technical and research writing, and self-published a novella on the theme of adolescent mental health.

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Asmita De is an associate editor with over three years of experience. She graduated in English Literature from the University of Calcutta. She has collaborated with several digital companies and reputed publishing houses as an editor.

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Reshma LatifBeauty & Lifestyle Writer

Reshma is a content writer with a penchant for writing articles on relationships, makeup, and beauty. She started her writing career in 2007, soon after graduating from Mahatma Gandhi University. What began as a love for blogging bloomed into several freelancing opportunities over the years.

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