11 Signs Your Friend Doesn’t Respect You & How To Deal With It
If they make fun of you behind your back or demean your opinion, they probably don’t respect you.
Erin Wiliiams is a licensed marriage and family therapist and a licensed chemical dependency counselor who is passionate about helping couples and families break free from the cycle of conflict and reconnect. She has 3 years of experience and is also a Gottman Leader of the Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work and specializes in trauma, grief, and loss.
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Experience: 4 yearsSneha has a master's degree in Applied Linguistics from the University of Hyderabad, a professional Relationship Coach diploma, and over four years of experience in writing. She writes about relationships and lifestyle.Sneha began her career as an instructional designer, shifted to freelance technical and research writing, and self-published a novella on the theme of adolescent mental health.
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Experience: 4 yearsSubhrojyoti is an associate editor at StyleCraze with four years of experience. He has a master’s degree in English from Presidency University, Kolkata, and has also done a post-graduate certificate course in Editing and Publishing from Jadavpur University, Kolkata.
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Experience: 3 yearsGracia Odile is a teacher-turned-beauty and lifestyle writer with three years of professional experience. She has a bachelor's degree in English from St. Stephen's College, a master's in Anthropology from the University of Madras, and a degree in education from GGSIPU.
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If you are confused about your friend’s behavior and aren’t sure if they respect you or that it’s just their nature, you have come to the right place. Here, we have listed some signs your friend doesn’t respect you to help you make the right decisions about the future.
Friendship is a beautiful bond that brings two different individuals together. But sometimes it may go wrong due to various reasons. Disrespect or disregard is one such reason. Keep reading to know about the sure-shot signs of a disrespectful friend and how to tackle them.
In This Article
11 Signs That Your Friend Doesn’t Care About You
1. They Make Fun Of You
People who genuinely respect one another will never take part in relentless teasing and mocking. Often, people who do not respect others take this as an opportunity to laugh at their expense and feel better about themselves. If your friend is unappreciative and constantly belittles you in public and mocks you, it’s a big red flag in a relationship.
2. They Always Tell You What To Do
Do your friends try to control your life? Do they constantly force their opinions on you and demand that you follow suit? This is a sign that they do not value your needs, ideas, and opinions. If you feel like your friends expect you to do what they say all the time, it is best to distance yourself from them.
3. They Are Rude To You
There is a difference between being critical and being rude. Your friend doesn’t need to agree with your decisions always. However, instead of voicing their disagreements amicably, if your friend criticizes you in harsh words, without caring about your feelings, they are rude. If they do it constantly, it is time to consider how much you value this friendship.
4. They Make You Feel Guilty For No Reason
Do your friends blame you for their problems? Do they try to pass off their shortcomings as your fault, even if it has nothing to do with you? When a friend tries to make another person feel guilty for no apparent reason, it can signify that they do not care about your feelings. They want to make you feel bad so they can feel better about themselves. If you feel like your friend guilt trips you without considering your feelings, the chances are that they don’t care about your emotions as much as their own.
5. They Make You Feel Insecure
This is one of the worst effects that a friend can have on somebody. Some friends may be straightforward, and their honest opinions may feel like a punch in your stomach. However, if they care, they will also try to boost your confidence and build you up. On the other hand, if they try to make you feel weighed down by belittling or insulting you, drain you emotionally, and make you feel unsure about yourself then listen to your gut feeling and reconsider the friendship.
6. You Feel Conscious Around Them
If being their friend makes you feel like you are walking on eggshells, it is a red flag. Your friend surely neglects you and does not care about you if you are always conscious about what you say and how you behave. Because you are afraid that if you slip, they will fly into a rage. If this is the case, maybe you are in a toxic friendship.
The points discussed above are signs of aggressive behaviors in which your friend may only care about their needs and wants being met.
7. They Are Passive-Aggressive
Do your friends constantly seem upset with you for no good reason? Do they act like they are mad at you but never say anything? Examples of passive-aggressive behavior include constantly making sarcastic comments or saying one thing but implying another. If your friends try to play mind games with you, there’s a pretty good chance that they don’t respect you.
8. It Is All About Them
Friendship is all about being there for each other. Sometimes, you may need some extra TLC, and sometimes, they will. However, if your relationship is all about them, and all the discussions are solely focused on them (like their issues, problems, and achievements), it’s a clear sign that your friend does not value you. It can be a sign of emotional immaturity too and linked to underlying selfishness. You should steer clear of such narcissistic friends, as it can take a toll on your mental health.
9. They Always Go Behind Your Back
If your friend excludes you from their plans, it might be a sign that they do not respect you. While they may have a separate set of friends, if they always plan their activities without you, it’s time to reconsider your friendship. This is one of the signs someone does not want to be your friend. They may also talk behind your back without considering your feelings. If this is the situation, your so-called friend does not respect you.
10. They Talk To You Only When They Need You
Does it feel like your friend speaks to you when they need a favor? Do they constantly interrupt you or try to change the subject when you are talking? Do they vanish and become unresponsive once they get what they want from you? Do they only care about getting their point across but do not listen to you? If yes, you have to make a decision.
11. Friendship Is One Sided
The friendship appears to be one-sided, with a noticeable disparity in effort and emotional investment. One person consistently contributes more than the other, resulting in feelings of neglect or unreciprocated support. This imbalance is evident due to the limited communication and lack of initiative from the other person. Managing such a one-sided friendship requires open communication that lets you assess whether both your needs are being met. An honest conversation can help if there is a future to the friendship and why the other person doesn’t feel the need to reciprocate the same emotional investment. Addressing the issue may lead to a healthier dynamic, fostering mutual understanding, or prompt a reassessment of the friendship’s value in one’s life. Striking a balance is crucial to sustain positive and meaningful connections.
Quick TipYou may have to set boundaries for your time and energy by limiting contact with that person and saying “no” when they ask too much of you.
While these are some signs that your friend does not care for you or respect you, you can also spot disrespect from their comments. Friends often joke around, and their comments may seem dismissive and inappropriate at times. However, there is a difference between intentional hurtful manipulative comments and a thoughtless slip of the tongue. Here are a few examples.
Key Takeaways
- Respect is the primary base in any relationship, and even friendship is not an exception.
- Many signs of lack of respect can be identified, like constant controlling, making fun, rude, and needy behavior.
- To cope with this behavior, communicate clearly. Prioritizing yourself and avoiding problematic situations/ topics may help to a certain extent.
- Try to tackle the situation, and if not possible, it may be high time to rethink such a friendship.
Spotting Disrespectful Comments From Friends
- “Why do you always have to be so emotional?”
- “You need to stop thinking so much.”
- “Have you even read that book?”
- “I don’t know why you’re upset. That’s just how it is.”
- “I don’t know why you always have to make such a big deal about things.”
- “It’s not like I did it on purpose.”
- “Why are you so sensitive?”
- “Don’t be ridiculous. Nobody is judging you.”
- “Just get over it already.”
- “Are you trying to start a fight?”
- “You’re ridiculous.”
- “I don’t know why you’re always complaining about things.”
- “It’s not like I did anything wrong.”
- “Who cares what you think?”
- “Just calm down.”
- “You always do the same thing every time, don’t you know that I’m sick of it already?”
- “What you’re saying doesn’t make sense.”
- “I don’t need to hear your problems. If you don’t want to talk about it, fine.”
- “Stop holding a grudge. It’s not good for your health.”
- “I don’t have time for your feelings.”
- “What makes you think that?”
- “Just stop thinking about it so much; you’re making yourself upset.”
- “You’ve said this before.”
- “Nobody cares about what you have to say.”
- “You’re overreacting.”
- “You always do this. Don’t you know how to calm down?”
- “That’s supposed to be funny?”
- “You’re so annoying.”
- “Can you just stop talking already?”
- “That’s not what I meant; you’re taking it the wrong way.”
All the above statements are examples of unhealthy communication styles. If you hear these comments quite often from your friend, they do not care about you or respect your feelings and opinions. People who care about you will respect your opinion, not try to change you, and never speak to you rudely. If your friend is rude to you, here are a few tips to help you deal with them.
How To Deal With Disrespectful Friends
- Talk To Them: Let your friend know that their comments are patronizing and hurtful. Communicate openly about your feelings and give them instances when their behavior or comments hurt you. Call them out on their unsupportive behavior. You cannot change a person overnight, but talking to them may help them realize where they went wrong and may apologize.
- Stay Away From Them: If your friend continues to disrespect you even after multiple discussions, it is better to stay away from their undermining and condescending words as they can only make you feel miserable.
Orla, a blogger, recalls her personal experience of feeling sidelined by her friends and close ones. She shares that decluttering things along with people who no longer value your friendship is essential. She sheds light on the fact that one shouldn’t feel sorry for the insecurity of others and stop chasing such people. She adds, “If people choose not to value me, they are free to do that. But after a while, I observe their behavior, and if it continues, I just walk away (i).”
- Avoid The Topic: If you know that a specific topic will trigger your friend, it is best to avoid going that way altogether. Such topics are hurtful for both – your friends and you – and affect the relationship. However, it is important to note that avoidance is not a healthy way to manage issues in any relationship. Learning how to talk about issues that trigger is more beneficial.
- Stop Putting Yourself Down: People who do not respect you will most likely try to bring you down in hopes that it will make them feel better. So, instead of listening to their negativity, finding a balance between what you can and will not tolerate is more beneficial. However, such relationships are not likely to last due to it being one sided and a lack of respect.
- Prioritize Yourself: If somebody does not respect you, remember that they are not worth your time. Instead, focus on yourself and prioritize your needs instead of getting demotivated by your friend’s behavior.
- Do Not Take It Personally: We all have bad days, and it often feels tempting to take our frustrations out on someone else. So, if your friend has disrespected you out of the blue, they might be having a tough day. Do not respond to negativity with negativity.
Quick TipIf your friend works with you and you cannot entirely remove them from your life, try to spend time with people who build you up and make you feel confident and energized instead.
Infographic: What To Look For In A Good Friend
Good friends and relationships strengthen you. There are signs that tell your good friends apart from the toxic ones. The TV show Friends left us all with high expectations. And while you may never find the Chandler to your Joey, you can always find a good friend to depend on.
Good friends might make fun of you or your exes, decisions, etc., but they will always support and stand by you when needed. Friends who don’t respect you don’t give you the same treatment.
Scroll down to read up on the signs to look for in a good friend! Illustration: StyleCraze Design Team
Good friends are confidants and companions. Friendship is a strong emotional link built on mutual trust, respect, and respect, just like any other relationship. Things can be difficult at times, and you may feel disrespected. Before you cut them off, try to figure out if their actions were deliberate. You can also look for signs that your friend does not respect you, like rudeness, a sense of insecurity, controlling behavior, and persistent hurtful comments that make you feel bad about yourself. If you value the friendship a lot, give them a chance by communicating your boundaries and calling them out personally. However, it is better to move on from such a friendship if they continue to be disrespectful towards you.
Frequently Asked Questions
What are rude characteristics?
Rude people are insensitive to other people. They act in inconsiderate ways, use harsh tone and language, are impolite, and deliberately do things that will offend others.
Who are toxic friends?
Toxic friends are those that take advantage of the trust you place in them. They might like you for being cooperative, they put on a facade of caring about you because you are a “true friend”, but they will be quick to throw you under the bus to save themselves. They will never put you first and they will make you feel guilty and selfish if you ever do good things for yourself.
Are friendships one-sided?
Healthy friendships are a two-way street. The love and care that you put in a friendship may not be returned in the exact same ways but if the friendship is true and healthy, your friend will show their love and care in their own way. Real friendships are never one-sided.
Do you feel like your friends don’t respect you or they look down on you? Learn 10 signs to look out for in this video. Play now!
Personal Experience: Source
StyleCraze's articles are interwoven with authentic personal narratives that provide depth and resonance to our content. Below are the sources of the personal accounts referenced in this article.
i. Stop Chasing People Who Don’t Value Youhttps://medium.com/illumination/stop-chasing-people-who-dont-value-you-9c7e98f40bd8
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